Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

Our sense of hearing is, to say the least, imperfect.  Depending on how closely we’re listening, how clearly the speaker or singer is enunciating, and whether there’s extraneous music or other sounds, we fairly often mishear what’s being said or sung, and we conclude incorrectly what we think we heard.

The official term for this is a mondegreen, coined by American writer Sylvia Wright in 1954.  As a young girl, she enjoyed listening to her mother read aloud from a book of 17th Century Scottish poems, one of which included the line, “They had slain the Earl of Moray and laid him on the green.”  Wright incorrectly heard this as, “They had slain the Earl of Moray and Lady Mondegreen.”  Even after she learned of her error, she decided she preferred her version, and chose to call this phenomenon a mondegreen.

Probably the most famous example of misunderstood rock music lyrics is in Jimi Hendrix’s hit “Purple Haze.”  The correct words are: “‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky,” but many people insist they hear “‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy.”  A guy named Gavin Edwards even published a book of misunderstood lyrics in 1995 that uses the Hendrix mondegreen as its title.

Another amusing mondegreen that’s mentioned now and then is in Creedence Clearwater Revival’s 1969 song “Bad Moon Rising,” where “There’s a bad moon on the rise” is hilariously misinterpreted as “There’s a bathroom on the right.”

There are many more examples of misheard rock lyrics from not only the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s, but from the ’90s and up to the present day.  Some of these seem far-fetched; I doubt anyone really hears “She moves in mysterious ways” and thinks it’s “Shamu, the mysterious whale.” Ditto Billy Joel’s “You may be right, I may be crazy” being somehow interpreted as “You made the rice, I made the gravy…”

There are also purveyors of parodies — artists like Weird Al Yankovic and Bob Rivers who have come up with a whole song’s worth of whimsical lyrics to go with an original song’s melody. (Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” becomes “Another One Rides the Bus”). If some of these seem a bit forced or contrived, well, perhaps that’s the point.  It’s all in good fun.

Some mondegreens, of course, are lyrics that have been intentionally misread for comedic effect. Charles Grosvenor Jr. published a book in 2007 with the catchy title, “Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza,” a deliberate misreading of the 1971 Elton John-Bernie Taupin lyric, “Hold me closer, tiny dancer.”

I’ve seen dish towels and sweatshirts bearing clever words designed to satirize well-known songs. Here’s an example: The Eurythmics’ 1983 hit “Sweet Dreams Are Made of This” offers these lyrics: “Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree, I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody’s looking for something…“ But the dish towel reads: “Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to dis a Brie, I cheddar the world, and a feta cheese, everybody’s looking for Stilton…

Let’s get back to mondegreens.  It has happened to everybody at one time or another — you think you know the words that are being sung, and then find out later (sometimes many many years later) that you have been mistaken.  For nearly four decades, I swear I thought the words to The Monkees’ smash hit “I’m a Believer” included the line, “When I needed sunshine on my brain.”  Turns out Micky Dolenz was singing, “When I needed sunshine, I got rain.”  Who knew?  Not me.

When Don Henley sings The Eagles’ classic ballad, “Desperado,” the first verse includes the line, “you’ve been out riding fences for so long now…”  But some listeners claim they thought the line was, “You’ve been outright offensive for so long now…

It’s pretty damn obvious that the opening line of the theme song to the 1984 film “Ghostbusters” is “If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?  Ghostbusters!”  Still, some wise guys prefer to think he’s singing, “Who you gonna call?  Those bastards!

When Dylan first met The Beatles and offered some marijuana to share, they were wary because they’d never tried it.  Dylan replied, “But what about the line in your song — ‘I get high, I get high, I get high…’?”  They explained that the proper lyric from “I Want to Hold Your Hand” was “I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide…”

Here’s a bizarre interpretation of the lyrics to the chorus of Michael Jackson’s iconic 1983 hit “Beat It,” which go: “Beat it, beat it, no wants to be defeated…”  Perhaps this will raise an eyebrow, but some claim they have always sung along this way:  “Heated, heated, no wants a beef fajita…

The Stevie Nicks song “Dreams” from Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours” LP includes the line, “Thunder only happens when it’s raining,” but some say it sounds like “Thunder’s only half as wet as rain is.”

From the legendary “Stairway to Heaven,” when Robert Plant belts out the couplet “And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls,” some listeners sing along incorrectly, “And there’s a wino down the road, I should have stolen what I sold…

In 1963, Bob Dylan sang, “The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind”… or was it “The ants are my friend”?

When Crystal Gayle sang, in 1978, “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue,” some fans say they thought the words were “Donuts make my brown eyes blue.”

In The Beach Boys #1 hit “Good Vibrations,” the line is “She’s giving me excitations,” not “She’s given me eight citations.”

From The Eagles’ “Hotel California,” the lyric begins, “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair,” NOT “Cool Whip in my hair.”

Smokey Robinson and The Miracles had a big single whose title was “I Second That Emotion,” and yet, someone thought she heard “I suck at that emotion.”

The Police’s early hit “Message in a Bottle” opens with the line, “A year has passed since I wrote my note”… or is it “A year has passed since I broke my nose”?

We all assume The Rolling Stones sang, “I’ll never be your beast of burden,” but maybe it was “I’ll never leave your pizza burnin’…”

We can safely conclude that Madonna was no virgin when she sang, “Like a virgin, touched for the very first time,” but I doubt she was saying, “touched for the 31st time.”

In Nirvana’s megahit “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” is Kurt Cobain singing “Here we are now, entertain us” or “Here we are now, in containers”?

Elvis Presley’s 1969 classic, “Suspicious Minds” begins, “We’re caught in a trap, I can’t walk out”… or is it “We call it a tramp, I can’t walk out”?

In the popular Phil Collins tune “In the Air Tonight,” a few people thought “I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life” was instead “I’ve been waiting for this snowman for all my life.”

Dobie Gray’s 1973 song “Drift Away” says, “Give me the beat, boy, and free my soul,” not “Give me The Beach Boys, and free my soul…”

Does ’70s rocker Eddie Money have “two tickets to paradise” or “two chickens to paralyse”?

How about R.E.M.’s 1991 song “Losing My Religion”? Are the words “That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight” or “Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight”?

In Bon Jovi’s classic “Livin’ On a Prayer,” does he sing “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not” or does he sing, “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”?

The early Bruce Springsteen tune “Blinded by the Light” includes the line “revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night,” but Manfred Mann’s remake sounds like they’re singing, “Wrapped up like a douche, another loner in the night…”

In “Groovin’,” the Young Rascals song, are they singing about “you and me endlessly” or is it “you and me and Leslie”?

When Toto sings about blessing the rains in “Africa,” are they singing “There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do” OR “There’s nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do”?

Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” sings about “no dark sarcasm in the classroom,” but perhaps it’s “no docks or chasms in the classroom…”

How about Abba’s big disco hit from 1977?  “See that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen” or “See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen…”

Finally, here’s a mondegreen that just might make more sense than the actual lyric.  In 1968, Iron Butterfly was recording a song called “In the Garden of Eden” after having polished off a gallon of cheap red wine, and vocalist Doug Ingle slurred as he sang, “In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby.”  Some listeners prefer their own interpretation:  “In a glob of Velveeta, baby…”

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There’s even a game out now where teams compete to be the first to identify the correct lyrics for each misunderstood lyric on the playing cards. Lots of fun!

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It’ll be just like starting over

January 1st, I think, is a terrible time to start a New Year.  We’re exhausted from the Christmas season, it’s cold and dark outside, there’s a long stretch of winter months ahead of us.  I always thought April 1, or May 1, with its blooming crocuses and “hope springs eternal” mindset, would be a far better time for this spiritual, physical and mental renewal.  But January 1 it is, so let’s proceed.

The need for rebirth, for turning over a new leaf, is a strong and beneficial thing.  We all benefit from recharging our batteries, refocusing our goals, and starting anew sometimes.  Maybe every day, or every month, but surely at least once a year.

Today, to commemorate the ushering in of 2025 (even though it’s already January 3rd), I am featuring 15 songs that celebrate New Year’s Day and the opportunity for renewal. Most have lyrics designed to give us all a little motivation to hold our heads up and forge ahead as we turn the calendar once again.

I saw this wish the other day and am embracing it: “A new year is like a blank book; it has 12 chapters and 365 pages, and you are the author. My wish is that, this year, we all write the most beautiful stories for ourselves.”

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“Auld Lang Syne,” Jimi Hendrix, 1969

In 1970, Hendrix reached #5 on the US album charts with “Band of Gypsys,” a live album of performances he did at the Fillmore East in New York on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day as 1969 turned to 1970. Nearly thirty years later, a 2-CD package called “Live at the Fillmore East” was released that contained 16 more tracks of performances from that two-night gig, one of which was an instrumental Hendrix adaptation of the traditional New Year’s tune “Auld Lang Syne,” complete with the crowd counting down to midnight and an emcee’s well wishes.

“New Year’s Day,” U2, 1983

“Though I want to be with you, be with you night and day, nothing changes on New Year’s Day…”  Bono is probably right.  Nothing much changes on New Year’s Day.  It’s usually the day AFTER when we start getting serious about exercise programs, diets, job changes, or whatever high-hopes resolutions we’ve made. Bono’s lyrics were inspired by the fact that the Solidarity Movement in Poland was pressuring the government to lift its martial law, and it ended up doing so on New Year’s Day 1983, only days before the song was released as U2’s first single to reach the Top Ten in the UK (only #53 in the US). The words make a general plea for perseverance and commitment to improved lives.

“New Year’s Resolution,” Otis Redding & Carla Thomas, 1967

Since Marvin Gaye had done so well recording duets with Kim Weston and Tammi Terrell, Otis Redding decided to try the concept with R&B songstress Carla Thomas on “King and Queen,” an album of collaborations of Redding’s grittiness and Thomas’s sophistication. With Booker T and the MGs providing razor-sharp accompaniment, the twosome charted two Top 30 singles, and the album includes “New Year’s Resolution,” a horn-driven, waltz-time tune in which they take turns vowing not to hurt each other in the coming year.

“The New Year,” Death Cab for Cutie,” 2003

In 1998, Death Cab for Cutie was just a struggling US band, working the Seattle area and recording on a small indy label.  Their fourth album, 2003’s “Transatlanticism,” was their first to chart, leading to a new contract with a major label and a Top Five LP, “Plans.” The opening track on “Transatlanticism” was a startling tune called “The New Year,” which offers some universal, sobering lyrics that we can all learn from a quarter-century later:  “So this is the new year, and I don’t feel any different…and I have no resolutions for self-assigned penance for problems with easy solutions…”

“This Will Be Our Year,” The Zombies, 1968

Rod Argent, Chris White and Colin Blunstone founded The Zombies in 1964 and had some good-sized hits (“Tell Her No,” “She’s Not There”) but were ultimately dropped by their label in 1967. On their own, they wrote and recorded the songs for “Odessey and Oracle,” seen decades later as one of the best of the psychedelic rock era. One of the finer tracks is “This Will Be Our Year,” in which a man expresses his gratitude to his woman: “I won’t forget the way you said, ‘Darling, I love you,’ /You gave me faith to go on, now we’re there and we’ve only just begun, /This will be our year, took a long time to come…”

“Celtic New Year,” Van Morrison, 2005

A stunning recorded catalog of nearly 50 albums iover six decades makes Morrison one of the most prolific songwriters of the rock era. He did some particularly fine work in the 2000s, with his 2005 LP “Magic Time” a notable standout with tracks like “Stranded,” “Evening Train” and “Gypsy in My Soul.” Two guitars and a whistle carry the comforting “Celtic New Year,” on which Morrison makes a plea to his Irish lover to return: “I’ve got to see you when it’s raining deep inside the forest, I got to see you at the waning of the moon, /Said ‘Oh, won’t you come on back, want you to be of good cheer, /Come back home on the Celtic New Year…”

“Bringing in a Brand New Year,” B.B. King, 2001

Bluesman Charles Brown is best known for writing the timeless “Driftin’ Blues” and the 1961 Yuletide favorite “Please Come Home for Christmas,” which The Eagles made into a Top 15 hit in 1978. Brown’s own recording of the latter tune in 1964 came with “Bringing in a Brand New Year” as the B-side, and showed up again on his “Cool Christmas Blues” collection in 1994, only a couple years before he died. The great B.B. King recorded a fine cover of it in 2001 for his own holiday package, “A Christmas Celebration of Hope,” and it’s more vibrant than Brown’s understated original.

“This Will Be My Year,” Semisonic, 1998

The Minnesota-based alternative rock band Semisonic had a brief arc of success in the late 1990s, especially the Top 20 single “Closing Time” from their 1998 LP “Feeling Strangely Fine.” I’m partial to a deep track called “This Will Be My Year,” where the narrator bemoans his lady’s penchant for overdoing the partying and crashing her car, and hopes he’ll be better off without her: “One wheel in the ditch,
another spinning in the air, /Put your pedal down to the floorboards, but you’re not getting anywhere, /Then you tell yourself what you want to hear, ’cause you have to believe this will be my year…”

“Funky New Year,” The Eagles, 1978

For the B-side of The Eagles’ 1978 Christmas single “Please Come Home for Christmas,” Don Henley and Glenn Frey channeled Earth Wind and Fire and came up with the aptly titled “Funky New Year,” a song about the consequences of overindulgence and how they offer a sign of a tough road ahead: “Can’t remember when I ever felt worse, nothing matters and everything hurts, /They were passin’ round the bottle, made me feel brand new, trouble with the new man, he wants a hit too, /A party, baby, never again, whose shoes are these?, /What year is this anyway?…”

“Maybe Baby (New Year’s Day),” Sugarland, 2009

The Atlanta-based country music duo of Kristian Bush and Jennifer Nettles debuted in 2002 and have released six successful LPs since then, reaching high on the pop charts as well as the country charts. Their Christmas LP “Gold and Green” in 2009 includes five originals alongside five traditional tunes, and the most touching to me is “Maybe Baby (New Year’s Day),” in which the narrator visits his hometown for the holidays and wonders if he’ll run into his old flame so they could spend New Year’s Day together: “This whole town ringing one more year, I don’t wanna let this feeling disappear, /I pray that you might be here tonight, and there you were standing, shining underneath that light…”

“New Year’s Prayer,” Jeff Buckley, 1998

The premature death of Buckley at age 30 in 1997 brought about a critical reappraisal of his only officially released LP, “Grace,” which had underperformed upon its release in 1994. His cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is widely praised as one of the best records of the last 30 years. In 1998, his label released “Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk,” a compilation of songs Buckley was working on when he died. From that collection comes the rather obtuse and haunting “New Year’s Prayer,” whose central idea seems to be “Feel no shame for what you are.”

“Nothing New for New Year,” Harry Connick Jr & George Jones, 2003

For his second album of Christmas music, 2003’s “Harry For the Holidays,” Connick wrote four original songs to complement the customary traditional and secular seasonal tunes. The most intriguing of the bunch was “Nothing New for New Year,” in which the narrator bemoans the fact that he has no new romantic prospects on the horizon for the new year. He was thrilled to that country music legend George Jones accepted his invitation to join him for a duet on the record. “George Jones is one of my favorite singers, probably the most soulful country singer of all time,” said Connick. “I was so honored that he said yes.”

“Brand New Year,” Eric Carmen, 2014

I couldn’t find much information about this symphonic track, when it was written or why it was never released as a seasonal single, but I do know it turned up as a bonus track on 2014’s “The Essential Eric Carmen” collection. It has a typically quasi-classical Carmen structure and vocal delivery, with lyrics that offer praise for having made it through the previous 12 months and hope for better things in the year to come: “It’s been a long hard year, sometimes it felt like we might not make it, /But baby, we’re still here, we showed the world that our love could take it…”

“Let’s Start the New Year Right,” Bing Crosby, 1942

For the 1942 movie musical “Holiday Inn,” about the goings-on at a former farm turned into a luxury inn and entertainment venue open only on holidays, the great Irving Berlin was commissioned to come up with a dozen tunes for the soundtrack. The most famous was the war horse “White Christmas,” perhaps the quintessential secular Christmas song, and winner of the Best Song Oscar that year. Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire co-starred and sang most of the songs, one of which is this corny but lyrically appropriate track about kicking off the new year on the right foot.

“Auld Lang Syne Rock,” Freddie Mitchell, 1954

Beginning as a pianist and bandleader in the 1930s, Mitchell made records and toured with several different bands into the mid-’40s before forming the Freddie Mitchell Band, in which he made his mark as a stellar tenor saxophonist. He developed a pioneering sound, a honking sax that dovetailed well with Swing, boogie and the emerging rock and roll. His albums never sold much, and by the late ’50s, he retired from the business, but there’s a great collection of his stuff, “Rockin’ Wailin’ Saxophone,” released in 2010, that shows off his instrumental prowess. On the opening track, I dig the way he invigorates the New Year’s standard as “Auld Lang Syne Rock.”

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