Classic rock bands I’ve never liked

Funny thing about popular music:  There’s no accounting for taste.  One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

Or, as Paul Simon once put it, “One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.”

In every decade, there have been bands that pack arenas on a regular basis, sell millions maxresdefault-15of albums, or have singles that do well on the charts, but the whole time, you’re scratching your head and saying, “What the hell does anyone see in them??”

Everyone has them:  Hugely successful groups that you just don’t like.

Now, if you’re a rock music fan like me, you can’t be naming people like Bobby Goldsboro or The Osmonds.  That’s not the point here.  Of course you don’t like acts like these, but you were never in their demographic target audience anyway.  No, in this case, I’m talking about majorly successful rock bands who, for sometimes undefinable reasons, just rub me the wrong way.

People may like or not like musical artists because of the circumstances in which they first heard them.  Perhaps you were 13 and found them exciting, if not musically notable.  Or maybe you were on a first date (or you were breaking up) and heard them on your car radio.  Or it could be that your boyfriend/girlfriend loved the group and you learned to love them too.  So there’s always that emotional attachment we have to certain songs, albums or bands that causes a link that might evade other listeners.

Here at Hack’s Back Pages, we have always focused on the music and artists from the 1955-1990 period, so the bands I intend to single out are from that era — mostly from the ’70s and ’80s, in fact.

It will become abundantly clear to you that I cannot abide rock bands that have poor singers.  I hold Robert Plant, Roger Daltrey and even Ozzy Osbourne (in Black Sabbath days) as exemplars of hard rock singers who have a command of melody and control without constantly consorting to shrieking and howling in non-musical pain.

I also have a problem with bands who can’t seem to write songs that show at least a modicum of musical sophistication.  Yes, I know, rock ‘n’ roll is supposed to be basic, primal, rebellious, energetic, revolutionary.  But must it be devoid of actual melody and harmony?

Go ahead, call me a snob, or a dinosaur.  I can take it.

I know I’m going to piss off a whole lot of people, who will no doubt vigorously disagree with some of my conclusions here.  Too bad.  It’s my blog.  If you want to come up your own list of ten bands you never liked, you might start your own blog.  But hey, I’d still be happy to hear your objections, or your candidates for bands that you think should be on a list like this.

Here we go:

Aerosmith

2890They have had their moments:  The 1974 anthem “Dream On” is a great classic, and their 1975 LP “Toys in the Attic” is pretty consistent.  But I’ve never cared for Steven Tyler’s screechy voice, and I would venture to say that nearly every album they made was more filler than anything worthwhile.  I made the mistake of trying to read Tyler’s appallingly self-indulgent 2012 autobiography, “Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?” which made me dislike him as a person as much as I disrespect him as a singer.  The group fell apart in the ’80s and I thought that was the well-deserved end of them, but then they were somehow reborn in the late ’80s with more singles and albums and tours.  I had no use for any of it.  Joe Perry is a fine electric guitarist, but that’s about the extent of anything nice I can say about these bad boys from Boston.

John Mellencamp

John Cougar Mellencamp.jpgBefore you Mellencamp fans come looking for me with a meat ax, let me just say that I don’t hate him or his music.  But I sure don’t love it either.  It’s just okay, and he’s way overrated.  Maybe it’s because he came along in Bruce Springsteen’s shadow, but I always thought of Mellencamp as a cheap imitation, a poor man’s attempt at Springsteen’s perceptive and effective working class anthems and public persona.  (I suppose you could say the same about Bob Seger, a fine rock singer of basic Midwest rock songs.  He was very good, but he wasn’t The Boss.)  Mellencamp has toured incessantly and continued to release new albums every couple of years, and some of them are even interesting.  But I can only shrug my shoulders and say, “Eh…”

Van Halen

19-van-halen.w529.h352Even if you account for Eddie Van Halen’s remarkable lead guitar solos and riffs throughout the group’s early catalog, one fact remains:  For the most part, Van Halen is mind-numbingly average.  They sometimes did a nice job on vocal harmonies, and David Lee Roth was actually a strong singer, but most of the group’s material is just so boring, plodding, nondescript.  And yet, these guys are held up as some sort of saviors of hard rock music during the disco/New Wave era.  Sorry, I’m not buying it.  Things got way worse when they recruited Sammy Hagar (also a decidedly average talent at best) to take over for Roth in 1985.  Just like that, a band that was capable of the occasional B- classic rock track (“Runnin’ With the Devil,” “Dance the Night Away”) suddenly slipped to C- and worse.  Thanks for nothing, Sammy…

Styx

dDp7qncorY3XzaRdD8XwEL-320-80Oh, spare me.  I’d rather plunge knitting needles into my ears than put up with five seconds of Dennis DeYoung’s cringe-inducing vocals.   “Lady”?  “Babe”?  “Come Sail Away”?  “Mr. Roboto”???  Just awful stuff, all of it, thanks to that voice.  I was so turned off that I never bothered to explore Styx’s catalog until very recently, and I wasn’t even aware that DeYoung and guitarist Tommy Shaw feuded continually, each left the band for solo careers, and attempted reuniting with little success.  Things got so bad between DeYoung and the rest of the band that his name has been omitted from Styx’s official website, as if he had never been a member.  Ouch.  Maybe there’s hope yet for me to learn to appreciate the Styx stuff without DeYoung on it.  We’ll see.  But I maintain my dislike of the Styx songs that were played ad nauseum in the late ’70s and early ’80s.

Bon Jovi

BonJoviSimplistic, unimaginative, unremarkable, annoying.  That’s Bon Jovi in a nutshell to me.  I recognize that Jon himself is quite the hunk who brings tons of women to his concerts.  And there are a few moments buried on his albums that stand out from the numbing sameness of his oeuvre.  But I’m sorry, he’s just not for me.  I’ve been listening to a lot of Bon Jovi’s stuff the past week, racking my brain to pinpoint what it is about them that leaves me cold.  I suppose it’s because they sound to me like a hundred other groups.  Not much originality to speak of.  When I hear even their big hits like “Livin’ On a Prayer,” I have to think, “Who is this again?”  It could be any other nameless American group of the 1980s, and I’m just not impressed.

AC/DC

acdc-blog-cropIf you want to send me running screaming from your room, just cue up AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap,” one of the saddest excuses for a hard rock anthem ever recorded.  These guys were Australia’s biggest rock success story, and for the life of me, I have never understood why.  “Fingernails on a blackboard” is the most accurate way to describe the voice of original AC/DC vocalist Bon Scott.  Simply unlistenable.  I find it both telling and pathetic that when Scott died of self-inflicted alcohol poisoning in 1980, the band held auditions and came up with a replacement (Brian Johnson) who somehow matched that excruciating larynx-shredding style (it certainly can’t remotely be called singing).  Nevertheless, the group has sold untold millions of copies of albums, and they rank among the most popular rock acts of all time.  Not in my house, man.

Beastie Boys

mHyz6OOltyEOriginally a hardcore punk band out of New York City in 1980, this trio made the switch to hip-hop in 1985, and became the first white group to dabble in (and find success with) what had exclusively been a black phenomenon.  I admit to not much caring for hip-hop in general, but I found these guys irritating for trying to pose as something they weren’t.  Suburban white kids chose to eat them up, and they proceeded to release eight Top 20 albums (including four Number Ones) over the next 30 years.  Incredible.  And to add musical insult to eardrum injury, The Beastie Boys were actually inducted into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame a few years ago.  Like I said, there is NO accounting for taste.

Guns ‘n Roses

GettyImages-535921600_webDebuting in 1985, they claimed to be “a mixture of hard rock, punk, blues and metal.”  It’s a horrendous mess, mostly.  As with almost every band I’ve mentioned here, they had a couple of memorable tracks.  By far, their best moment was the 8-minute anthem “November Rain,” which has two parts, showcasing their melodic side followed by a lengthy guitar solo by Slash.  I just couldn’t get into the band overall, though, partly because vocalist Axl Rose was such a pretentious ass who was simply begging to be punched in the face.  But again, who can explain the preferences of millions of rock music fans who found anything appealing about GNR’s music?  I just don’t hear it.

KISS

AR-140719399Bwahahahahaha!  There is absolutely nothing musical to be heard from this band of costumed showmen.  And let’s be clear, even Gene Simmons has said KISS was born of the notion that it didn’t much matter what they played.  It was all about the pyrotechnics, the light show, the sheer volume and, of course, the face paint and faux-threatening poses they struck onstage.  To attend a KISS concert was to be assaulted and overwhelmed by what you saw more than what you heard.  Therefore, to listen to a KISS album was an exercise in total futility, for there was nothing there deserving of your time.  But sure enough, the group’s fans lobbied for years until these clowns were also inducted in the Rock Hall.  As showmen?  Well, okay, I guess.  As musicians?  Not on your life, nor mine.

Ted Nugent

ted-nugent-1All right, here’s credit where it’s due:  When he was only 19, Nugent was the lead guitarist and songwriter for a ’60s band out of Michigan called The Amboy Dukes, who were responsible for a wonderful psychedelic nugget from 1968 called “Journey to the Center of Your Mind,” which reached #16 on the charts.  Okay, that’s the only good thing I have to say about this raging lunatic.  He inexplicably became a ted-nugent-with-gunspopular solo artist in the mid-’70s, riding the wave of dreck like “Cat Scratch Fever,” where his voice sounds like, well, a feverish catfight.  So I’ve never liked any of his harsh, tone-deaf albums, but an even better reason to hate him is for his arch-conservative political views that include (believe it or not) condoning violence against gun control advocates.  The guy is an unhinged racist and thoroughly unlikable in every way.

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I started putting together a playlist of songs by these bands, but then I said to myself, “Why on earth would anyone ever listen to it?  I certainly wouldn’t.”  So if you happen to enjoy any of the ten bands mentioned above, by all means, head on over to Spotify, or to your album/CD collection, and put ’em on.  Just don’t invite me over until you’re finished.

 

 

A long long time ago, I can still remember

Historians often point at 1968 as a pivotal, transitional year in America, and elsewhere.  Fifty years ago, riots, assassinations, demonstrations, even political conventions turned ugly and violent.  What had been simmering under the surface for several years exploded during the 12 months of that dizzying year.

5a6b8e64a172a.imageIn pop culture, the same upheaval was underway.  Pop art, op art, nudity on Broadway, “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” on TV, and films like “Rosemary’s Baby” and “2001: A Space Odyssey” were rocking our world.

In pop music, 1968 was very much a transitional year.  Throughout the ’50s and up until 1968, the 45 rpm single was the dominant format consumers chose to enjoy music.  Most people didn’t care yet about full albums of songs.  Many people didn’t even have the equipment to play them.  As the ’60s waned and the ’70s approached, the hit single began its slide in popularity as the full-length album became the favored format.

If you peruse the list of albums released in 1968, you’ll find several subgroups.  There were loads of “Best Of” and “Greatest Hits” collections of artists’ top-selling singles, compiled on one disc for the customers’ convenience.  There were the rudimentary efforts by bands that would someday be great but were still finding their way at that point (Joni Mitchell, Jethro Tull, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Grateful Dead).  There were, as always, horrible LPs of filler that contained maybe one or two decent songs.  And the smallest segment, perhaps, consisted of the truly groundbreaking, excellent albums full of top-quality material that, even 50 years later, stand up well to repeated listenings.

I have selected a dozen albums from 1968 that I believe are still worthy of attention, even by newer generations of fans.  Beyond these, I have named another dozen “honorable mention” albums from 1968 that are historically noteworthy if not musically top-notch.  As I said, it was a transitional time…

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Unknown-19“Wheels of Fire,” Cream

Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce, each regarded as virtuosos on guitar, drums and bass, respectively, formed Cream in 1966, hoping to use improvisational jazz techniques within the pop/rock song structure.  They succeeded on albums like “Fresh Cream” (1966) and “Disraeli Gears” (1967), but it was their landmark double album “Wheels of Fire” that truly cemented their status as iconic trailblazers.  One album of nine studio tracks (including the hit “White Room”) and another disc of four extended live recordings (the incendiary “Crossroads” as well as the 16-minute mindblower “Spoonful”) showcased the band at its best.  Sadly, their volatile personalities and a murderous touring schedule brought about the group’s demise by the end of the year.  But their legacy lives on, thanks to records like this one.

220px-Bigpink“Music From Big Pink,” The Band

Bob Dylan’s mid-’60s backup band, originally known as The Hawks, decided the time was right in 1968 for them to record their first album on their own.  Songwriter-guitarist Robbie Robertson, drummer-vocalist Levon Helm, organist Garth Hudson, keyboardist Richard Manuel and bassist Rick Danko convened in the garage of a modest pink house in Saugerties, NY (where they had recorded many songs with Dylan in what were to become known as “The Basement Tapes,” released in 1975).  It was there that they came up with “Music From Big Pink,” the 12-song album that is now regarded as the harbinger of the “back to nature” movement that killed acid rock and ushered in the country rock movement and the singer-songwriter era.  Neither the group, its members nor its music became million-selling superstars, but they were widely respected and praised within the music community and among a loyal legion of fans.  Songs like “The Weight” and “Chest Fever” are prime examples of the lasting influence of this album.

In_search_of_the_lost_chord“In Search of the Lost Chord,” The Moody Blues

The Moodies had almost been cut from their record deal in 1967 before they were paired with the London Festival Orchestra to combine orchestral/classical music with rock instruments to produce the landmark “Days of Future Passed” LP.  After that successful project, the group was given more leeway to create their own vibe, which was decidedly more psychedelic and progressive.  Beginning with their 1968 album “In Search of the Lost Chord,” the British group embarked on a legendary career full of spacey yet accessible music on multiple Top Five LPs, led by Justin Heyward’s songs and vocals, Mike Pinder’s mellotron and keyboards, John Lodge’s bass and vocals, Ray Thomas’s flute and Graeme Edge’s percussion.  On this fine album, check out “Ride My Seesaw,” “Legend of a Mind,” “Voices in the Sky” and “Om.”

220px-Aretha_Franklin_-_Aretha_Now“Aretha Now,” Aretha Franklin

The amazing pipes of Aretha Franklin came bursting forth from Stax Records’ Memphis Studios in 1967 when she took Otis Redding’s “Respect” and made it one of the iconic soul tunes of all time.  From there, it was hit after hit, mostly just as singles, but Stax wisely put enough great material together to create a fabulous LP, “Aretha Now,” in 1968.  Spurred on by the hugely popular “Think” (later re-recorded in a rollicking remake for “The Blues Brothers” movie soundtrack in 1980), and other killer tracks like “I Say a Little Prayer” and “Night Time is the Right Time,” Franklin reached #3 with “Aretha Now,” her fourth Top Five album in less than two years.

flat,550x550,075,f.u6“Bookends,” Simon & Garfunkel

With songs like “The Sound of Silence,” “Homeward Bound” and “I Am A Rock” in 1966, Paul Simon established himself as a major songwriter, and his recordings with partner Art Garfunkel reached the Top Five.  In 1967, they were asked to contribute songs to the soundtrack of the game-changing film “The Graduate,” and the soundtrack LP went to #1 in early 1968.  Their next studio LP, the extraordinary “Bookends,” came out in April and also reached #1.  It included the full-length version of the #1 hit “Mrs. Robinson” (the film soundtrack included only the chorus because Simon hadn’t completed the song in time!), and other 1967 hits like “Hazy Shade of Winter” and “Fakin’ It.”  Most important, it included an “ahead-of-its-time” song cycle about aging, from the teen angst of “Save The Life of My Child” and the early-adult soul-searching of “America” to the depression of divorce in “Overs” and the reflection of old age in “Old Friends/Bookends.”  Simon and Garfunkel have been household names ever since, and with good reason.

Supersession“Super Session,” Al Kooper, Mike Bloomfield, Stephen Stills

Al Kooper was only 21 when he played an important role in recording sessions for Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone,” among others, and had founded the rock/brass group Blood, Sweat and Tears in 1967, contributing vocals and keyboards.  But he was forced out of his own group, and he went off to lick his wounds by recording with blues guitar great Mike Bloomfield.  But Bloomfield was a volatile soul who dabbled deeply in drugs, so when he failed to show up for a session, Kooper asked Stephen Stills, who was recuperating from the disbanding of Buffalo Springfield, to step in.  The result is “Super Session,” a magnificent album with Kooper on vocals and keyboards throughout and Bloomfield on Side 1 and Stills on Side 2.  This album just gets better and better whenever I put it on.  By all means, immerse yourself in this one.

Rolling-Stones-Beggars-Banquet“Beggar’s Banquet,” The Rolling Stones

I doubt if they realized it yet, but upon the release of this well-rounded LP in December 1968, The Stones were at the beginning of a five-album run that would prove to be the apex of their 50-plus years in the business.  Their reputation as cheeky delinquents was solidified by the album cover art of a dirty, graffiti-laced bathroom, which was, of course, 220px-BeggarsBanquetLPrefused by the US record label and replaced by a formal wedding invitation design.  More important was the music, particularly the rocking “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Street Fighting Man” and “Salt of the Earth,” all offset by acoustic gems like “No Expectations,” “Parachute Woman” and “Factory Girl.”  Mick Jagger and Keith Richards really stepped up here, with co-founder Brian Jones sliding further into the shadows, and the rhythm section of Charlie Watts and Bill Wyman had developed at that point into one of the very best in rock.

220px-Cheapthrills“Cheap Thrills,” Big Brother & The Holding Company

By all rights, this album should officially be a Janis Joplin album, but when it was recorded, she was still just the vocalist of this unrefined blues group from San Francisco.  The album includes both studio and live recordings, all of which feature Joplin’s alternately powerful and gentle vocals.  This LP, with its marvelous R. Crumb comic illustrations, reached #1 in the summer of ’68, thanks in part to the popular “Piece of My Heart” single.  Only months after its release, she left Big Brother behind and went off to form the Kozmic Blues Band, touring incessantly until she died of an overdose in the fall of 1970.  By all accounts, her take on Big Mama Thornton’s “Ball and Chain” is one of the most sensational tracks released that entire year.

220px-Jeff_Beck-Truth“Truth,” Jeff Beck

Sadly, many Rod Stewart fans are unaware of Rod’s roots, when he was an unknown blues singer who joined the Jeff Beck Group and first appeared on Beck’s excellent debut LP “Truth” in 1968.  Stewart offered seriously raw vocals, perfectly complementing Beck’s accomplished blues guitar stylings.  And look who else is playing on this LP:  future Faces/Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood on bass, future Led Zeppelin bassist/keyboardist John Paul Jones and freelance keyboard wizard Nicky Hopkins.  Even Who drummer Keith Moon and Zeppelin guitar master Jimmy Page are on the amazing “Beck’s Bolero” track.  This LP is a solid testimony to Beck’s stature as one of the best guitarists in rock history.  

61GfhksAxcL“Electric Ladyland,” Jimi Hendrix Experience

At his seismic US debut at the Monterey Pop Festival in June 1967 and on his incredible first LP, “Are You Experienced?,” Jimi Hendrix had brought shock and awe to every guitarist on the British rock scene, and to the US record-buying public as well.  Only a year later, on his third album, the sprawling double LP “Electric Ladyland,” he was exploring ever-new horizons, using guest players like Steve Winwood and Dave Mason and trying a broad palette of song styles on originals and covers alike.  The 16-minute jam “Voodoo Chile” still sends chills up my spine, and his rendition of Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower” reinvented the idea of reinventing a song.  There is self-indulgence here, but there’s so much great stuff as well, it just doesn’t matter.

Van_Morrison_-_Astral_Weeks“Astral Weeks,” Van Morrison

First came the garage rock of his first band Them and their 1966 hits “Gloria” and “Here Comes the Night.”  Then came his 1967 solo debut and biggest hit single “Brown-Eyed Girl.”  But before he kicked off an amazing run of FM radio favorites like 1970’s “Moondance,” 1971’s “Tupelo Honey” and 1972’s “St. Dominic’s Preview,” Van Morrison put together an astounding, free-flowing, stream-of-consciousness beauty called “Astral Weeks” in 1968.  It didn’t sell well, and even a lot of Van’s fans aren’t all that familiar with it.  But you would do well to look it up and give it a try.  There are eight very thoughtful, delicately performed story-songs here that show Morrison in a pensive and creative mood.

316GrhxGleL._SY355_“The Beatles (The White Album),” The Beatles

Ah yes, the crown jewel of the entire calendar year.  The Beatles had been pretty quiet since “Sgt. Pepper” in June 1967, although the September 1968 two-sided single “Hey Jude” and “Revolution” had dominated the Top 40 throughout the fall.  But very few anticipated the outpouring of 30 new songs on the group’s November release, “The Beatles,” which instantly became known as “The White Album” because of its stark white album THE_BEATLES_THE+BEATLES+WHITE+ALBUM-128538bcover.  This expansive collection had something for everybody.  Harrison offered his best track yet, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” featuring an uncredited guitar solo by pal Eric Clapton.  McCartney kicked ass with rockers like “Back in the U.S.S.R.,” “Birthday,” and “Helter Skelter,” and also offered some fine acoustic stuff like “Blackbird,” “I Will,” “Mother Nature’s Son” and “Martha My Dear.”  Even Ringo wrote a song, the country ditty “Don’t Pass Me By.”  Lennon, meanwhile, stepped up with nearly a dozen of his best songs — “Happiness is a Warm Gun,” “I’m So Tired,” “Dear Prudence,” “Sexy Sadie” and a slow-burn version of “Revolution.”  He insisted the album include his nightmarish sound collage, entitled “Revolution 9,” as well as his saccharine lullaby, “Good Night,” sung by Ringo.  Because the recordings were so good, no one was aware the group was continually at odds and headed for a breakup.  For now, this was an outstanding Christmas present.

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Honorable Mention:

jamestaylorappleJames Taylor,” James Taylor;  “Living the Blues,” Canned Heat;  “Eli and the Thirteenth Confession,” Laura Nyro;  “Traffic,” Traffic;  “Song to a Seagull,” Joni Mitchell;  “One,” Three Dog Night;  “Diana Ross and The Supremes Join The Temptations“;  “In a Gadda Da Unknown-20Vida,” Iron Butterfly;  “Tell Mama,” Etta James;  “Last Time Around,” Buffalo Springfield;  “Creedence Clearwater Revival,” Creedence Clearwater Revival;  “This Was,” Jethro Tull;  “Sweetheart of the Rodeo,” The Byrds;  “Odessey and Oracle,” The Zombies;  “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake,” The Small Faces.