It’s a thousand pages, give or take a few

If you’re trying to come out of your holiday fog, I think I’ve got just the thing to get your brain revved up for the New Year.

I’m offering a Rock Lyrics Quiz that focuses on The Beatles, which is still probably the most recognizable catalog in pop music history.

It won’t be as easy as it sounds, though. While the roughly 220 songs they recorded include a few dozen widely recognized hits, there were also plenty of album tracks that got less exposure and are therefore more difficult to pick out. So I’ve divided the quiz into three sections — easy, intermediate, and difficult.

I administered the quiz to my wife (who loves the Beatles’ music but I wouldn’t call her a fanatic), and she scored about as I expected she would: She aced the easy lyrics, did fairly well on the intermediate group and struggled with the difficult ones. She said it would have been far easier to recognize the lyrics if she heard them sung as opposed to reading them on a printed page or computer screen, and I’ll bet many readers will feel the same.

In any event, here’s how I suggest you play: Grab a pencil and paper and jot down your answers as you proceed.  When you’re done, simply scroll down to find the correct answers — no peeking! I’ve written a little bit about each song, and there’s the usual Spotify playlist at the end to hear the tunes after the fact.

It’s a good mental exercise to try to recall rock music lyrics. It just might clear your head and test your memory bank, which we all need now and then.  Enjoy!

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EASY

1 “Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better…”

2   “Well, my heart went ‘boom’ when I crossed that room, and I held her hand in mine…”

3   “He say, ‘I know you, you know me,’ one thing I can tell you is you got to be free…”

4   “I’ll pretend that I’m kissing the lips I am missing…”

5   “Many times I’ve been alone, and many times I’ve cried…”

6   “Say you don’t need no diamond rings and I’ll be satisfied…”

7   “I look at the floor, and I see it needs sweeping…”

8   “All these places had their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall…”

9   “Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there…”

10   “Baby says she’s mine, you know, she tells me all the time, you know, she said so…”

11   “Why she had to go, I don’t know, she wouldn’t say…”

12   “Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game, it’s easy…”

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INTERMEDIATE

13   “Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away…”

14   “You don’t need me to show the way, love, why do I always have to say, love…”

15   “If looks could kill, it would’ve been us instead of him…”

16   “I’m taking the time for a number of things that weren’t important yesterday…”

17   “But ’til she’s here, please don’t come near, just stay away…”

18   “‘Cause I couldn’t stand the pain, and I would be sad if our new love was in vain…”

19   “Soon we’ll be away from here, step on the gas and wipe that tear away…”

20   “When you say she’s looking good, she acts as if it’s understood, she’s cool…”

21   “Then we’d lie beneath the shady tree, I love her and she’s loving me…”

22   “Boy, you’ve been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down…”

23   “Gather ’round, all you clowns, let me hear you say…”

24   “Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman, but she was another man…”

DIFFICULT

25   “‘We’ll be over soon,’ they said, now they’ve lost themselves instead…”

26   “In my mind, there’s no sorrow, don’t you know that it’s so?…”

27   “Everybody pulled their socks up, everybody put their foot down, oh yeah…”

28   “You’re giving me the same old line, I’m wondering why…”

29   “But listen to the color of your dreams, it is not living, it is not living…”

30   “I know it’s true, it’s all because of you, and if I make it through, it’s all because of you…”

31   “You could find better things to do than to break my heart again…”

32   “Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer, you may be a lover but you ain’t no dancer…”

33 “Had you come some other day, then it might not have been like this…”

34 “Waiting to keep the appointment she made, meeting a man from the motor trade…”

35 “Don’t you know I can’t take it, I don’t know who can, I’m not going to make it…”

36 “The men from the press said, ‘We wish you success, it’s good to have the both of you back…'”

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Answers:

EASY

1   “Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better…”

“Hey Jude” (single, 1968)

This tune, their biggest-selling song ever, got its start as “Hey Jules,” Paul McCartney’s song of support for a young Julian Lennon, who was coping with his parents’ divorce in 1968. John Lennon interpreted the lyrics as a message to him and Yoko (“You have found her, now go and get her”). It became a singalong anthem for the ages.

2   “Well, my heart went ‘boom’ when I crossed that room, and I held her hand in mine…”

“I Saw Her Standing There” (from “Please Please Me” LP, 1963)

The Beatles’ set list during their formative years playing clubs in London and Hamburg was full of vintage tunes by Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly and Little Richard, but the first track on the band’s debut LP was an authentic rocker original written by McCartney and fine-tuned by Lennon. It’s every bit as valid an entry in the rock ‘n’ roll canon as “Long Tally Sally” or “Roll Over Beethoven.”

“He say, ‘I know you, you know me,’ one thing I can tell you is you got to be free…”

“Come Together” (from “Abbey Road” LP, 1969)

When Lennon was asked to write a song for LSD maven Timothy Leary’s ill-fated campaign for the California governorship, all he came up with was a chant using the slogan “Come together, join the party.” Lennon later created some whimsically enigmatic wordplay (“ju-ju eyeball,” “mojo filter”) and set it to a funky, bluesy tempo that became a #1 single and one of Lennon’s favorite Beatles tunes.

“I’ll pretend that I’m kissing the lips I am missing…”

“All My Loving” (from “With the Beatles,” 1963)

When millions of Americans got their first glimpse of The Beatles as they performed for the first time on “The Ed Sullivan Show” in February 1964, this is the first song the band played. It’s an infectious McCartney melody with simple lyrics about sending loving thoughts home to his girl while he’s away. It’s one of the better examples of the band’s innocent early songs, and would have made a terrific single.

5   “Many times I’ve been alone, and many times I’ve cried…”

“The Long and Winding Road” (from “Let It Be” LP, 1970)

Because this McCartney ballad was released in 1970 just as the group’s break-up was announced, it’s tinged with sadness and regret. Although it was written more than a year earlier, the song’s lyrics portend the separation and estrangement that was on the horizon (“You left me standing here a long long time ago”). It was the final Beatles single in the US until “Free As a Bird” 25 years later.

6   “Say you don’t need no diamond rings and I’ll be satisfied…”

“Can’t Buy Me Love” (from “A Hard Day’s Night” LP, 1964)

Producer George Martin correctly suggested the group begin this song with the catchy chorus instead of the first verse, and that helped instantly grab the attention of radio listeners much as “She Loves You” had done. It became a linchpin song on the soundtrack of their madcap debut film “A Hard Day’s Night,” accompanying a sequence where the boys ran and jumped around an open courtyard to let off steam.

7   “I look at the floor, and I see it needs sweeping…”

“While My Guitar Gently Weeps” (from “The White Album” LP, 1968)

George Harrison, motivated by the “relativism” taught in Eastern literature, decided to write a song based on the first words he saw upon opening a book. Those words were “gently weeps,” and he chose to use them to describe the sound of an electric guitar. His friend Eric Clapton famously played the solo (uncredited at the time), and the track ignited a prolific period of quality songwriting for Harrison.

8   “All these places had their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall…”

“In My Life” (from “Rubber Soul” LP, 1965)

Lennon always maintained he wrote the bulk of this song of tender reflection, but McCartney claims he wrote “at least half” of the words. Regardless, the tune has become one of the most popular non-singles they ever wrote, and because of its lyrics of remembrance and affection (“Some are dead and some are living, /In my life, I’ve loved them all”), it is often played at weddings and funerals.

9   “Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there…”

“Eleanor Rigby” (from “Revolver” LP, 1966)

This groundbreaking single features no Beatles playing instruments, with only a string quartet, McCartney’s lead vocal and Lennon and Harrison adding harmonies. The lyrics offer a remarkable commentary on loneliness, describing an old woman sweeping up rice following a wedding and a clergyman dutifully “writing the words to a sermon that no one will hear.”

10   “Baby says she’s mine, you know, she tells me all the time, you know, she said so…”

“I Feel Fine” (single, 1964)

When Lennon heard feedback from a guitar that had been inadvertently left leaning on an amplifier, he wanted the sound included in the intro to the band’s newest single, “I Feel Fine.” It was one of many “happy accidents” that occurred during Beatles recording sessions over the years that brought such unusual sounds to listeners’ ears, even when the accompanying words were just simplistic love songs.

11   “Why she had to go, I don’t know, she wouldn’t say…”

“Yesterday” (from “Help!” LP, 1965)

McCartney fell out of bed one morning, sat at the piano, and this iconic song came out almost fully formed. He was sure he must’ve heard it somewhere before, but it was indeed a brilliant original melody. It was the first group song featuring only a solo Beatle, with Paul playing acoustic guitar and singing lyrics that yearned for easier, happier times (“I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday”).

12   “Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game, it’s easy…”

“All You Need is Love” (from “Magical Mystery Tour” LP, 1967)

When The Beatles were invited to participate in the first live global television link seen by 400 million people, they were asked to write a song with a universal message everyone could understand. Lennon jumped at the assignment and came up with the simple maxim “All you need is love, love is all you need,” set to a happy-go-lucky chant melody that, naturally, went straight to #1 in 1967’s “Summer of Love.”

INTERMEDIATE

13   “Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away…”

“Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” (from “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” LP, 1967)

Because this song title’s three key words start with L, S and D, many observer’s concluded Lennon was writing about the hallucinogenic drug in the lyrics. The colorful images (“Cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head”) reinforced that viewpoint. He always insisted, however, that the impetus for the song was a picture his son Julian drew in kindergarten of his friend Lucy.

14  “You don’t need me to show the way, love, why do I always have to say, love…”

“Please Please Me” (from “Please Please Me” LP, 1963)

Lennon recalled playing around with the word “please,” as in “please listen to my pleas,” but then took it step further with “please please me,” which sends a message about asking for more pleasure. It has since been interpreted as wanting sexual pleasure, but in 1963, this wasn’t something you’d find in a pop song. “Please Please Me” became The Beatles’ first #1 hit in the UK, and reached #3 in the US in 1964.

15 “If looks could kill, it would’ve been us instead of him…”

“The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” (from “The White Album” LP, 1968)

While in India on their meditation retreat, Lennon observed an American college boy and his mother going on a tiger-hunting expedition, which he opposed. He wrote a lyrical tale about it as if it were a children’s story, using a decidedly mocking tone (‘he’s the all-American, bullet-headed Saxon mother’s son”) and changing the stereotypical Buffalo Bill to the tongue-in-cheek Bungalow Bill.

16 “I’m taking the time for a number of things that weren’t important yesterday…”

“Fixing a Hole” (from “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” LP, 1967)

On the surface, this seems to be a song about repairing an actual hole in the roof, but McCartney later said he was venting frustrations about the pressures of fame and people always wanting something from him (“See the people standing there who disagree and never win”). He yearned to be left alone to explore and experiment, a passion that marked many of the tracks on the “Sgt. Pepper” LP.

17 “But ’til she’s here, please don’t come near, just stay away…”

“Don’t Bother Me” (from “With the Beatles” LP, 1963)

In the early years, George Harrison played lead guitar and sang harmonies, occasionally stepping up to sing lead vocals, but he wasn’t yet confident as a songwriter. Still, he came up with “Don’t Bother Me” for the group’s “With the Beatles” LP, a surprisingly strong melody with somewhat moody lyrics about being left alone to wallow in self-pity. It contributed to his reputation as “the quiet Beatle.”

18 “‘Cause I couldn’t stand the pain, and I would be sad if our new love was in vain…”

“If I Fell” (from “A Hard Day’s Night” LP, 1964)

Lennon’s first ballad, written for the “A Hard Day’s Night” soundtrack, is relatively sophisticated for its time, both musically and lyrically. The narrator appears to be thinking about leaving his current love for someone new, but he wants assurances “that you’re gonna love me more than her.” “If I Fell” was also the B-side of the “And I Love Her” single, which peaked at #12 in the US.

19 “Soon we’ll be away from here, step on the gas and wipe that tear away…”

“You Never Give Me Your Money” (from “Abbey Road” LP, 1969)

All four Beatles expressed how frustrated they were in 1969 with how much of their time was consumed with financial meetings and business headaches. McCartney felt the need to write about it in “You Never Give Me Your Money,” the first track of the lengthy suite on Side Two of “Abbey Road.” The lyrics bemoaned the “funny paper” and breakdown in negotiations that hurt their group dynamics at the time.

20 “When you say she’s looking good, she acts as if it’s understood, she’s cool…”

“Girl” (from “Rubber Soul” LP, 1965)

As 1965 was winding down, The Beatles took a major leap forward in their songwriting with the material they wrote for “Rubber Soul.” Among the tunes Lennon penned was the rather complex, philosophical track “Girl,” which cryptically expressed his curious desire for an artistic, intellectual sort of woman to come along — “the kind of girl you want so much, it makes you sorry.”

21 “Then we’d lie beneath the shady tree, I love her and she’s loving me…”

“Good Day Sunshine” (from “Revolver” LP, 1966)

Lennon and McCartney (and Harrison too) were eager to carefully balance the tracks on each album, alternating moods and tempos and styles. On “Revolver,” the switch from Lennon’s hard-edged and lyrically heavy “She Said She Said” to McCartney’s jaunty “Good Day Sunshine” is a good example. On Paul’s simple song, it’s a nice day and he has a nice girlfriend, and that’s about all there is to it.

22 “Boy, you’ve been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down…”

“I Am the Walrus” (from “Magical Mystery Tour” LP, 1967)

When Lennon was told that college professors were teaching courses interpreting the lyrics of Beatles songs, he chuckled and said, “Here’s one they’ll never figure out.” This extraordinary track is a pastiche of literary references, playground nursery rhymes and cryptic, nonsensical phrases set to a lugubrious arrangement inspired by a British police siren. It’s one of Lennon’s most extraordinary works.

23   “Gather ’round, all you clowns, let me hear you say…”

“You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” (from “Help!” LP, 1965)

Lennon went through a phase when he was especially enamored with Bob Dylan — his songs, his voice, his overall persona. This manifested itself most overtly in “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” a Lennon number from the “Help!” film soundtrack. He later said he was furtively writing a message to manager Brian Epstein, who was forced to keep his homosexuality a secret.

24   “Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman, but she was another man…”

“Get Back” (single, 1969)

If you watch Peter Jackson’s 2021 eight-hour documentary “The Beatles: Get Back,” you’ll watch in awe as McCartney comes up with the melody and feel for the song “Get Back” seemingly out of thin air while no one is paying much attention. It’s one of McCartney’s most compelling rockers, with lyrics that focus on the band’s desire to “get back to their roots” on their “Let It Be” album.

DIFFICULT

25 “‘We’ll be over soon,’ they said, now they’ve lost themselves instead…”

“Blue Jay Way” (from “Magical Mystery Tour” LP, 1967)

Harrison was staying at a rented home in the Hollywood Hills (on a street called Blue Jay Way), waiting for a friend to arrive, who was two hours late because of foggy conditions. He busied himself by writing this spacey song about it. Every Beatles tune was combed over for hidden meanings (were they lost on the road, or had they lost their way in life?), but Harrison said this song had no lyrical depth.

26 “In my mind, there’s no sorrow, don’t you know that it’s so?…”

“There’s a Place” (from “Please Please Me” LP, 1963)

The Beatles’ songwriters were working under pressure to produce songs to fill their debut album, and this one, mostly by Lennon, sounds hurried and not particularly noteworthy. Lyrically, the “place” he is writing about is not geographical — it’s his mind, the place he likes to go for solace when he feels down and out. Lennon wrote quite a few songs at this point about feeling “blue.”

27 “Everybody pulled their socks up, everybody put their foot down, oh yeah…”

“I’ve Got a Feeling” (from “Let It Be” LP, 1970)

Lennon and McCartney often wrote separately and then helped each other finish their songs. In this case in early 1969, they took two songs that shared a similar structure and chord pattern and mashed them into one. McCartney’s tune has “a feeling deep inside,” no doubt about his bride-to-be Linda, while John’s wearily points out, “everybody had a hard year.” They recorded it live on the Apple rooftop.

28 “You’re giving me the same old line, I’m wondering why…”

“Not a Second Time” (from “With the Beatles” LP, 1963)

Here’s yet another example of Lennon crying and hurt because some girl has disappointed or betrayed him, and he’s telling her she won’t be getting a second chance with him. He sings it convincingly, and it’s a competent piece of work from the “With The Beatles” album, but it’s unremarkable, like two or three throwaway songs found on each of The Beatles’ first five LPs.

29 “But listen to the color of your dreams, it is not living, it is not living…”

“Tomorrow Never Knows” (from “Revolver” LP, 1966)

George Martin called this Lennon song from “Revolver” to be “absolutely groundbreaking.” It’s based around only one chord, with lyrics about expanding one’s consciousness through recreational drug use (“Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void”). Surrealistic sound effects created through home-made tape loops gave the track a very trippy sound, paving the way to more sonic experiments.

30 “I know it’s true, it’s all because of you, and if I make it through, it’s all because of you…”

“Now and Then” (single, 2023)

Unfinished demos of songs Lennon was working on at the time of his death in 1980 became the finished Beatles songs “Free as a Bird” and “Real Love” when Paul, George and Ringo collaborated in 1995-1996. A third song, “Now and Then,” was finally completed in 2023 thanks to audio restoration technology advancements. Lyrically, it’s an homage to love and how we mean it even if we don’t always show it.

31 “You could find better things to do than to break my heart again…”

“I’ll Be Back” (from “A Hard Day’s Night” LP, 1964)

Lennon sure seemed to love writing songs that center on someone breaking his heart. This time, though, it’s not so threatening because he’s confused about his feelings (“If you break my heart I’ll go, but I’ll be back again”). I’ve always loved this one because of the tight harmonies and melancholic melody, but it has received very little attention as the final track on the “A Hard Day’s Night” LP.

32 “Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer, you may be a lover but you ain’t no dancer…”

“Helter Skelter” (from “The White Album” LP, 1968)

McCartney was inspired by the latest music from The Who to have a go at writing something that would freak everyone out and prove he wasn’t just a ballad writer. In England, a helter skelter was a fast, scary, spiral fairground ride, and he used that image go make the analogy to a frenetic sexual “ride,” exemplified by harsh guitars, thundering bass and shouted vocals.

33 “Had you come some other day, then it might not have been like this…”

“If I Needed Someone” (from “Rubber Soul” LP, 1965)

Carried by shimmering 12-string guitar and glorious three-part harmonies, Harrison’s “If I Needed Someone” was curiously dismissed by its composer at the time as “like a million other songs written around the D chord,” but I’ve always loved it. Lyrically, the narrator is telling a woman he would love to be in a relationship with her if he wasn’t already in love with someone else.

34 “Waiting to keep the appointment she made, meeting a man from the motor trade…”

“She’s Leaving Home” (from “Sgt. Pepper,” 1967)

McCartney was touched by news reports of girls who ran away from home to join the hippie movement in California, and was inspired to write a short story describing her parents’ despair when they found her farewell note. Lennon added less sympathetic lines that implied the parents “gave her everything money could buy” but apparently not sufficient attention nor affection.

35   “Don’t you know I can’t take it, I don’t know who can, I’m not going to make it…”

“I Call Your Name” (from “Long Tall Sally” EP, 1964)

Lennon said this was among the first songs he ever wrote, around 1960, and even then, his lyrics focused on the pain of unrequited love instead of the happy love songs that would be The Beatles’ stock in trade during their initial releases. “I Call Your Name” appeared on the US-only LP “The Beatles’ Second Album,” and on a British EP at the same time (early 1964). The Mamas and Papas recorded a cover version in 1966.

36 “The men from the press said, ‘We wish you success, it’s good to have the both of you back…'”

“The Ballad of John & Yoko” (single, 1969)

Written almost as a diary entry, Lennon detailed his whirlwind marriage and honeymoon travels with Yoko in March 1969. Despite tensions between Lennon and McCartney at the time, the two collaborated without George or Ringo to quickly record the song and release it as a stand-alone single, and it reached #8 in the US, even with its controversial use of “Christ! You know it ain’t easy” in the lyrics.

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When I call you up, your line’s engaged

I was listening to an old playlist recently and up popped the 1977 ELO hit “Telephone Line,” which starts with the sound you hear when you’ve placed a call and it’s ringing at the other end of the line. It got me thinking about how ubiquitous the telephone has been in our lives for so many years.

The phone has evolved significantly since the mid-20th Century, when there were such things as shared “party lines,” calls that required “operator assistance,” pay phones everywhere, home phones connected by cords to the kitchen wall, and pricey rates for long-distance calls based on the time of day you’re calling.

These days, of course, those things barely exist, if at all. Most people don’t even have “land lines” anymore. Instead, we have cell phones, where typing texts, taking photos and scrolling have taken precedence over actual conversations.

Remember calling someone and getting a busy signal? Until the “call waiting” feature was introduced in the 1970s, you had to keep trying until you finally got through. And once you got through, sometimes nobody was there and you had to call back later (until the advent of answering machines).

Remember “crank calls,” where you’d phone a random number and play a prank on them? Those went away once the caller could be identified (and maybe prosecuted) thanks to the “*69” and, later, “caller ID” features.

There’s no denying that the phone has been a crucial tool in helping us stay connected, from boys calling girls for dates to maintaining ties with friends who moved to another city. It has also been the focus of classic films (thrillers like “Sorry Wrong Number,” “When a Stranger Calls” and “Dial M For Murder”) and many dozens of popular songs.

A tune like The Turtles’ classic love note “Happy Together” makes brief mention of a phone call (“If I should call you up, invest a dime…”), while The Monkees’ “Last Train to Clarksville” notes the futility of trying to talk on a pay phone in a rowdy location (“Now I must hang up the phone, /I can’t hear you in this noisy railroad station all alone…”). Joni Mitchell’s “You Turn Me On, I’m a Radio” urges a lover to phone her at the radio station (“Dial in the number who’s bound to love you… Call me at the station, the lines are open…”). Some songwriters have created lyrics structured to indicate the whole song is a phone call (Todd Rundgren’s “Hello It’s Me,” Adele’s “Hello”), even though a phone is never specifically mentioned.

I’ve researched the topic and have selected 16 pop/rock songs about telephones from as early as the 1950s to as recently as 2023. There are numerous “honorable mention” listing as well, all included on the Spotify playlist at the end.

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“Operator,” Jim Croce, 1972

This charming, wistful tune is the first one that came to mind as I was thinking of “phone songs.” It’s easily my favorite of Croce’s appealing song catalog, found on his 1972 LP “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim.” In the lyrics, the speaker is trying to find the phone number of his former lover, who has moved to Los Angeles with his former best friend. He is hoping to show both of them that he has survived their betrayal, but admits to the operator that he is in fact not over it. He then changes his mind and tells the operator not to place the call after all. It’s a marvelous melody and vocal performance, and a heartbreaker lyrically that peaked at #17 on US charts: “Give me the number if you can find it, so I can call just to tell ’em I’m fine, /And to show I’ve overcome the blow, I’ve learned to take it well, /I only wish my words could just convince myself that it just wasn’t real, /But that’s not the way it feels…”

“Telephone Line,” Electric Light Orchestra, 1976

When Jeff Lynne, ELO’s leader/songwriter/singer, was assembling tracks for the band’s sixth LP, “A New World Record,” he was aware that the British band’s popularity in the US was growing by leaps and bounds. So when he wanted to include a ring tone as a sound effect for “Telephone Line,” he concluded it needed to be an American ringtone. “We phoned from England to America to a number that we knew nobody would be at, just to listen to that tone for a while, and then we recreated it with a Moog synthesizer.” The song reached #7 in 1977, their second highest charting of 15 Top Twenty hits: “Hello! How are you? /Have you been alright through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights? That’s what I’d say, /I’d tell you everything if you’d pick up that telephone, /Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, /I’m living in twilight…”

“Call Me,” Blondie, 1980

Giorgio Moroder, the Italian composer/producer known as the “Father of disco” for pioneering Euro-disco with Donna Summer in the mid-to-late ’70s, wrote the music for this hugely popular track from the “American Gigolo” film soundtrack in 1980. Moroder had approached Stevie Nicks to write lyrics and sing vocals for it, but she declined, and instead, Debbie Harry of Blondie agreed to participate. The lyrics Harry wrote were from the perspective of the lead character, a male prostitute played by Richard Gere, who took his assignments via telephone solicitations. “Call Me” was released in three versions (single, album, and Spanish-language), with the single holding the #1 slot on US pop charts for six weeks: “Call me on the line, Call me, call me anytime, /Call me, oh my love, Call me for a ride, /Call me for some overtime…”

“867-5309/Jenny,” Tommy Tutone, 1982

In the summer of 1981, songwriter Alex Call wanted to write a basic 4-chord rock tune. “I had the guitar lick, and I had the name and phone number, but I didn’t know yet what the song would be about. My friend Jim Keller, guitarist for Tommy Tutone, stopped by, heard it and said, ‘Well, it could be a girl’s phone number on a bathroom wall.’ We had a good laugh, and I said, ‘That’s exactly right, that’s what it should be!’ He and I wrote the verses in about 15 minutes.” Tommy Tutone recorded it and took it to #4 on US pop charts in 1982. From coast to coast, there were multiple instances of annoyed people with the 867-5309 phone number who were continually pestered with prank calls, and a few of them were even named Jenny! “If I ever met the guy who wrote it, I’d punch him in the face,” said one: “I know you think I’m like the others before who saw your name and number on the wall, /Jenny, I got your number, I need to make you mine, /Jenny, don’t change your number, 867-5309…”

“All I’ve Gotta Do,” The Beatles, 1963

“That was me trying to imitate Smokey Robinson,” said John Lennon about this tune from the “With the Beatles” LP in 1963. He said he wrote it specifically with the American market in mind, because the idea of calling a girl on the telephone was unthinkable to a British youth in the early 1960s. “I loved the idea of merely picking up the phone in order to talk to a girl. That seemed fantastic to me, because phones weren’t part of an English child’s life at that point. I had never called a girl on the phone in my life, but in America, it happened all the time.” “And when I wanna kiss you, yeah, /All I gotta do is call you on the phone, and you’ll come running home, /Yeah, that’s all I gotta do, /And the same goes for me, whenever you want me at all, /I’ll be here, yes I will, whenever you call, /You just gotta call on me…”

“Rikki Don’t Lose That Number,” Steely Dan, 1974

So many of the songs Donald Fagan and Walter Becker wrote for the Steely Dan records offered cryptic lyrics open to different interpretations. Some stoners thought “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” referred to a joint the speaker had given to the woman, but Fagen dispelled that rumor. “I’d had a crush on a woman named Rikki, a professional writer who was married to one of my college professors. I slipped her my phone number as she was leaving the country in the hopes she would be flattered enough to call me, but she never did.” Years later, the woman said she was stunned when she heard her name in the lyrics of the song on the radio, where it reached #4 on US pop charts in 1974. “Rikki ,don’t lose that number, /You don’t wanna call nobody else, /Send it off in a letter to yourself, /Rikki, don’t lose that number, It’s the only one you own, /You might use it if you feel better when you get home…”

“Telephone Song,” The Vaughan Brothers, 1990

Stevie Ray Vaughan emerged from Austin, Texas in the early ’80s as the hot new stud on the blues guitar, and was credited with bringing blues music back into vogue commercially. Concurrently, Vaughan’s older. brother Jimmie had been a key figure in The Fabulous Thunderbirds, who also achieved some chart success in the late ’80s. In 1990, the Vaughan brothers pooled their talents for one LP, “Family Style,” which was released one month following the tragic death of Stevie Ray in a helicopter crash that year. It reached #7 on US album charts, and included memorable original blues tunes like “Telephone Song,” which Stevie Ray co-wrote and sang: “Woke up this morning, I was all alone, /Saw your picture by the telephone, I was missing you so bad, /Wish I had you here to hold, all I’ve got is this touch telephone, /Guess I’ll have to give you a call…”

“Beechwood 4-5789,” The Marvelettes, 1962

Co-written by Marvin Gaye and Mickey Stevenson, this frothy Motown tune was a modest hit in 1962 for the “girl group” The Marvelettes, reaching #17 on pop charts. Its anachronistic title refers to the then-standard use of telephone exchange names like Beechwood, Yellowstone, Skyline and Sweetbriar, with the first two letters of the exchange name substituting for digits. It sounds pretty dated today, but it was the first pop song to use a phone number in the title and lyrics. The song was covered 20 years later by The Carpenters as one of the duo’s final singles before Karen Carpenter’s premature death in 1982. “I’ve been waiting, standing here so patiently for you to come over and have this dance with me, /And my number is Beechwood 4-5789, you can call me up and have a date any old time…”

“Switchboard Susan,” Nick Lowe, 1979

In 1978, veteran British guitarist/songwriter Mickey Jupp was working on a comeback album with two different backing bands on various tracks. One was Lowe’s band Rockpile, who helped him record a great rocker called “Switchboard Susan,” but Jupp was so unhappy with it that he sent Lowe on his way, saying, “And take that song with you. I don’t want it anymore.” Lowe and Rockpile chose to include the track (with a new vocal overdub by Lowe) on his 1979 LP “Labour of Lust,” which included the hit single “Cruel To Be Kind.” “Switchboard Susan” flopped as a follow-up single despite creatively suggestive lyrics about the singer’s infatuation with a telephone operator: “Switchboard Susan, won’t you give me a line? /I need a doctor, give me 999, /First time I picked up the telephone, /I fell in love with your ringing tone, /I’m a long distance romancer, /I keep on trying till I get an answer… /When I’m near you, girl, I get an extension, /And I don’t mean Alexander Graham Bell’s invention…”

“Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You,” Sugarloaf, 1974

In 1970, the Denver-based group Sugarloaf had a #3 hit with the catchy “Green-Eyed Lady,” but it took them four years to come up with a follow-up hit. Lead singer Jerry Corbett wrote lyrics which describe the difficulty of breaking into the music business and securing a contract from the record company, who claims that the band is good, but too derivative of other popular bands at the time. Said Corbetta, “Bands get that kind of response all the time — ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’ — and I thought it would make a great song, and a great title.” Sure enough, it became a #9 hit on US charts in late 1974, using the sound of a touch-tone phone entering a number: “He said ‘hello’ and put me on hold, /To say the least, the cat was cold, /He said, ‘Don’t call us, child, we’ll call you’…”

“Memphis,” Johnny Rivers, 1964

Chuck Berry wrote this basic early rocker in 1959, then entitled “Memphis, Tennessee,” and several other artists shortened the title to “Memphis” and covered it in later years, including The Beatles (found on their “Live at the BBC” album), and especially Rivers, whose version peaked at #2 in 1964. The lyrics hark back to a time when we could call “long distance information” to learn a phone number and be connected to it. If you listen closely, you’ll see that the girl (named Marie) that the caller is trying to reach from many miles away is not his lover or ex-wife, but his six-year-old daughter: “Help me, information, more than that, I cannot add, /Only that I miss her and all the fun we had, /Marie is only six years old, information, please, /Try to put me through to her in Memphis, Tennessee…”

“Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen, 2012

In her early 20s, Jepsen turned heads with stirring performances on “Canadian Idol,” the Canadian edition of the popular US TV program. By 2012, she became an international sensation with “Call Me Maybe,” which reached #1 in more than a dozen countries. Interestingly, it was written as a folk song, “but when we hit the studio to record it, the producer urged us to ‘popify’ it,” Jepsen said. The lyrics describe the feeling of “infatuation and the inconvenience of love at first sight,” as one critic put it. “It’s an eyelash-fluttering flirtation, a perfect summer pop song that straddles the line between irresistible and sickly sweet.” Said Jepsen, “It’s basically a pick up. What person hasn’t wanted to approach somebody but hesitated because it’s scary? So you slip them your phone number.” “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, /But here’s my number, so call me, maybe? /It’s hard to look right at you, baby, /But here’s my number, so call me, maybe?…”

“Star 69,” R.E.M., 1993

Following the runaway success of the pop-oriented “Automatic For the People” album in 1992, R.E.M. did an about-face and embraced a harder-edged approach for their “Monster” follow-up LP in 1993, which featured the single “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” One of the more popular tracks was the glam punk anthem “Star 69,” whose title refers to the access number for the last-call return feature of North American telephones. The lyrics offer a tale of mysterious celebrity obsession, kind of a rough cousin of “Pop Song 89” from their breakthrough “Green” LP. “Three people have my number, the other two were with me, /I don’t like to tell, but i’m not your patsy, /This time, you have gone too far with me, I know you called, I know you called, I know you hung up my line, star 69…”

“If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me,” Jimmy Buffett, 1985

Buffett was famous for writing light-hearted, whimsical songs with lyrics that poke fun at our foibles. Titles like “Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful,” “Off to See the Lizard” and “We are the People Our Parents Warned Us About” are great examples of his clever wordplay. There’s some disagreement as to whether he coined the phrase “If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me” — it appears in a few country songs in various forms — but regardless of its origin, it’s a marvelous way of telling someone you’re moving on and won’t be calling anymore. The song appears as a deep album track on Buffett’s 1985 LP “Last Mango in Paris” (more amusing wordplay there)… “If the phone doesn’t ring, you know that I’ll be where someone can make me feel warm, /It’s too bad we can’t turn and live in the past, /If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me…”

“634-5789,” Wilson Pickett, 1966

Singer/songwriter Eddie Floyd and guitarist/songwriter Steve Cropper were both major behind-the- scenes figures at Stax Records in Memphis, oner of the important hotbeds of soul music in the 1960s (along with Detroit). Floyd had his own hit with “Knock on Wood,” while Cropper was the de facto leader of the Stax house bands on dozens of hit singles. They teamed up to write “634-5789″ for Wilson Pickett,” who turned it into a #13 hit on pop charts in 1966 (and #1 on R&B charts). The song is a direct nod to The Marvelettes’ earlier hit “Beechwood 4-5789” (see above), with lyrics that repeat the “call me and I’ll come right over” theme, but with a far grittier and authentic soul style: “No more lonely nights when you’ll be alone, /All you gotta do is pick up your telephone and dial now, 634-5789, that’s my number! /Oh, I’ll be right there, just as soon as I can…”

“She Calls Me Back,” Noah Kahan with Kacey Musgraves, 2023

Kahan has become wildly popular on the strength of his excellent 2022 LP “Stick Season,” full of great songs he wrote while holed up in Vermont during the COVIN pandemic. Said Kahan, “‘She Calls Me Back’ is about calling somebody, knowing that the relationship is ending, but still hanging on to it by the skin of its teeth. The narrator is bitter at being left but angry at himself for still needing to keep calling.” In 2023, Kahan recorded new versions of several tracks in duets with other artists, including “She Calls Me Back” with Musgraves, who wrote and sang a new verse that moves the lyrics forward. “It’s the other person on the phone being like, ‘Hey, I’m moving on.’ It offers the other side, which allows the song to move into a place of resolve instead of this bitter tension that exists in the original.” Kahan: “Lost for a long time, two parallel lines, /Everything’s alright when she calls me back…” Musgrave: “If you think that you could wake me up, then you don’t know how well I sleep, /You love me and I don’t know why, I only call you once a week…”

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Honorable mentions:

Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair),” Sheena Easton, 1983; “Call Me,” Chris Montez, 1966; “Answering Machine,” The Replacements, 1984; “Man On the Line,” Chris DeBurgh, 1984; “Off the Hook,” The Rolling Stones, 1965; “Don’t Lose My Number,” Phil Collins, 1985; “Telephone,” Lady Gaga with Beyoncé, 2009; “Hello It’s Me,” Todd Rundgren, 1972; “Hello,” Adele, 2015; “Call Me Back Again,” Paul McCartney and Wings, 1975; “The Telephone Always Rings,” Fun Boy Three, 1982; “The Phone Call,” The Pretenders, 1980; “Hanging on the Telephone,” Blondie, 1978; “Call Me Back,” The Strokes, 2011; “I Just Called to Say I Love You,” Stevie Wonder, 1984.

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