Goodbye, please don’t cry, I will always love you

“I’ve never been offended by all the dumb blonde jokes people tell about me.  You know why?  It’s because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know I’m not blonde.

This famous Dolly Parton quote succinctly captures her essence:  Keen self-awareness.  Genuine humility.  Positive attitude.  A wonderful sense of humor.

And now, it seems impossible, but it’s true. Dolly is gone.

This extraordinary woman, who has managed to shine in multiple disciplines (songwriting, singing, recording, performing, films, television, entertainment businesses and philanthropic endeavors), died Tuesday, August 25th, at age 80. As David Graham of The Atlantic put it: “During one of the most divisive eras in modern times, Parton was perhaps the only person in the U.S. who commanded universal affection. Her death leaves an absence that no contemporary cultural figure could dream of filling.”

I’ve written way too many obituaries on this blog since I started it in 2015, but this week I’m finding it especially challenging because Dolly Parton felt to many folks like one of those people who would always be with us. Her influence transcended generations, musical tastes and political lines. It seems that everyone loved her.

The outpouring of grief and loss and earnest tribute these past few days has been pretty much unprecedented. Her close friends, compatriots and collaborators in the music industry have bared their hearts and souls, of course, as have celebrities in film, politics, community outreach and other professions.

“We are all crushed here at our house,” said Vince Gill. “One of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard was when Dolly and I sang that last note of ‘I Will Always Love You’ the year we performed it on the CMA Awards [in 1995].”

“A world without Dolly doesn’t seem possible, or real, or right,” said Taylor Swift. “She gave us someone to look up to while encouraging us to be who we are as individuals.”

Even British art rocker Peter Gabriel was moved to comment. “Maybe the Smoky Mountains should now have their own giant Rushmore-like carving of their own daughter, Dolly – the little girl who grew up to become the Queen of America.”

The public at large, too, have been crying their eyes out for this truly beloved woman and the kind, selfless way she lived her life. In Nashville, where she has lived for six decades, there’s already a move afoot to rename the airport as Dolly Parton International Airport, and I have little doubt that’ll happen. One man on social media called for a national day of mourning, adding, “We need a Dolly Revolution. Let’s Make America Kind Again.”

In front of Parton’s Nashville estate this week

As much as she accomplished in the entertainment industry, she is being lauded much more for her generosity, her contagious bright light, her inspiring words and actions. A motivational speaker and life coach named Krista Demcher summed it up succinctly in a social media post Thursday morning:

“Imagine spending 80 years on the planet writing more than 3,000 songs, winning 11 Grammys and 10 CMAs, having 55 Top Ten hits, an Emmy and countless other nominations, and at the end of your life, no one talks about that. Instead, they talk about the kind of person you were; how you loved others well, how you stayed true to yourself, how you were generous and would champion others, and how you inspired others to do the same. If that’s not the goal, then I don’t know what is.”

I’d like to tip my hat to a writer named Bill Friskics-Warren, who wrote an exceptional tribute to Parton in The New York Times, published less than 24 hours after she passed away. Here are a few passages:

“Stylistically, Ms. Parton’s music ran the gamut: mountain bluegrass and soul-inflected countrypolitan, disco-era pop and covers of classic rock touchstones written by Neil Young and Led Zeppelin — all of it rendered indelible by her irrepressible spirit and alternately keening and gossamer soprano drawl.”

“Ms. Parton cannily exploited — and transcended — rural stereotypes and kitsch to fashion a down-home chic entirely her own. (‘A country girl’s idea of glam,’ she called it in the 2007 song ‘Backwoods Barbie.’) In the process, she became an international celebrity who headlined stadium tours, starred in Hollywood movies, built a business empire and appeared on the covers of Rolling Stone and Playboy magazines.  Her at times girlish soprano notwithstanding, she was anything but the ‘dumb blonde’ invoked in the title of her 1966 single.

‘I’ve created this and played it up — the makeup, the whole persona,’ Ms. Parton said, alluding to her plastic surgeries as well as her colloquial Dollyisms. ‘But this isn’t all I am. It’s not even most of what I am. Hopefully, people can see beneath the hair to know there’s a brain, see beneath the boobs to know there’s a heart, and see behind all the other stuff to know there’s some talent.”

Parton in 1982

If you’re looking for proof that Dolly Parton is not a “dim bulb,” as she might put it, there’s a revealing story about what happened — or what could have happened, but didn’t — with one of her most famous songs.

In 1973, Parton wrote “I Will Always Love You,” which was meant as a fond tribute to her friend and singing partner, Porter Wagoner, with whom she was amicably ending a seven-year professional collaboration.  Dolly recorded it herself, and then watched as it soared to #1 on the Hot Country charts (although it didn’t even make the Pop charts).

None other than Elvis Presley let it be known that he loved the song and wanted to do his own version.  He was all set to record it when Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, told Parton that it was customary for songwriters to give up half of the publishing rights to Presley for any song he recorded.  While others had gladly agreed to this just to have Elvis sing their song, Parton ended up politely declining.

“I said, ‘I’m really sorry, I just can’t do it,'” she recalled years later, “and I cried all night.  I was still relatively new in the business, and I mean, it was like, ‘Oh, my God, it’s Elvis Presley.’  And other people were saying, ‘You’re nuts. It’s Elvis Presley.’  But I said, ‘I just can’t do that.’ Something in my heart said, ‘Don’t do that.’  And I just didn’t do it. Of course, he would have done a killer rendition…but anyway, so he didn’t.  Then, when Whitney Houston’s version came out years later, I made so much money from it, I could’ve bought Graceland!”

Whitney Houston and Dolly Parton at the 1994 Grammy Awards

Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You,” released in 1992 on the film soundtrack for “The Bodyguard,” spent an incredible 14 weeks at #1 on the Pop charts, bringing the song to an exponentially wider mainstream audience than Parton’s original had achieved.  It played a large part in turning her into one of the wealthiest songwriters in music history.

And that’s merely the most famous of the thousands of songs she has written since breaking into show business in 1966, earning her a much-deserved spot in the Songwriters Hall of Fame.  “Writing’s just as natural to me as getting up and cooking breakfast,” she said in 2002. “I ain’t never far away from a pencil and paper or a tape recorder. I write every day, even when I’m on a plane, in the tub or on the bus. It burns in me. It’s my way of channeling my feelings and my thoughts, the things I see, the people I care about. I think my head would explode if I didn’t get some of that stuff out.”

Full confession:  I’ve never been much of a country music fan myself.  I’m often amused or touched by the lyrics, but pure country music is simply not my cup of tea. Consequently, my knowledge of and appreciation for Parton’s recorded catalog has until recently been limited to her most well-known songs, particularly 1977’s “Here You Come Again” (the engaging Barry Mann-Cynthia Weil tune that marked her first appearance in the mainstream Top Ten), her perky 1981 #1 international hit “9 to 5” from the hit film comedy, and “Islands in the Stream,” the 1983 chart-topping duet with Kenny Rogers.

Over the past 25 years or so, my wife and two daughters have become big fans of country artists, and since moving to Nashville in 2023, I’ve felt inexorably drawn to give the genre more attention.  Although I suspect I’ll always be a rock and roll guy at heart, I have broadened my horizons to examine and eventually embrace many country songs, including several of Dolly’s.

In particular, I’m kind of obsessed over “Jolene,” a marvelous tune she wrote in 1973 whose narrator worries about a gorgeous woman who has been making eyes at her new husband.  “Please don’t take him just because you can,” the lyrics implore, and that sentiment rang true with millions of country fans who sent it to #1 on the country charts.  Even Rolling Stone ranked “Jolene” #214 on its list of “the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.”

Beyond her voluminous recorded catalog of more than 55 solo albums and another dozen LPs with Wagoner, Parton has also impressed me with her film appearances, especially her hilarious 1980 debut in “9 to 5,” where she steals the movie with her portrayal of secretary Doralee Rhodes, and her award-winning turn as the madam in 1983’s “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.”  As in nearly every television performance or interview you can find on YouTube, Parton absolutely lights us the screen with her affable, cheery disposition.

Jane Fonda, Parton’s co-star in “9 to 5,” had this to say about her this week: Dolly was simultaneously a naughty, playful southern gal from the hollows of Tennessee and a deep, soulful thinker who could see through people right down to their true selves. She was many things…lyricist, songstress, player of many instruments, writer, prankster, visionary, loyal friend. Dolly will always be with us because she was so present, so powerful, so generous and playful that she is woven into all our lives and hearts forever.”

Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton with Dabney Coleman in “9 to 5”

Parton’s gentle philosophy of inclusion, acceptance and tolerance for all people led her to take some brave stands along the way. She firmly declined to get involved in political matters, but her hardscrabble childhood, which included being ostracized by classmates for her rough-around-the-edges clothing, led her to embrace the have-nots and ridiculed of society. She stood up for the LGBTQ+ community by writing and singing “Travelin’ Thru,” the Oscar-nominated song from “Transamerica,” the 2005 movie about a transgender woman seeking to connect with her son. In 2017, Parton collaborated with Miley Cyrus, her goddaughter, to record “Rainbowland,” a tribute to gay pride and liberation.

Said Parton, “I don’t believe that we should criticize and judge other people. I think we should be accepting and loving. We are all God’s children. We are who we are, and we should be allowed to be who we are. I just think that we should be more loving, more caring. We are who we are. If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re straight, you’re straight, and you should be allowed to be, you know, how you are, and who you are.”

Brandi Carlile, the openly gay superstar, said this week, “Even before I ever met her, I loved her because she took a risk and accepted me (and all of us) for being gay in a time where she didn’t need to say anything. She has been asked to comment and speak on many things over the years, choosing only to speak on that which brings love and mercy to real people, and shutting down any line of questioning that doesn’t. She never wavered on accepting anyone for who they were.”

Dolly appearing with Johnny Carson in 1977

Parton’s self-deprecating sense of humor has served her well, particularly in regard to what she called her “substantial bosom.” As a guest on “The Tonight Show” in the late ’70s, she burst out laughing when Johnny Carson said of her outfit, on the air, “I’d give up a year’s salary for one peek under there!” She always took such comments in stride, and often told jokes of her own. A classic: “I was always be a feminist but I never burned my bra.  I was afraid it would take the fire department four days to put it out!”

Comedian John Caponera related this funny anecdote yesterday. “In 1995, I was picked to play Dolly’s love interest in a situation comedy called ‘Heavens to Betsy.’ They filmed six episodes but the show never made it to air. There was one episode where there was a scene that called for me to make out with Dolly. That’s right, I made out with Dolly Parton! Am I bragging? Hell yeah!”

What a remarkable ride she has had — “from the back hills of Tennessee to the Hollywood Hills,” as she put it in 2017. She was born Dolly Rebecca Parton in 1946, the fourth of 12 children born in a one-room cabin near the hardscrabble hamlet of Pittman Center in eastern Tennessee, where her father worked the land and her mother struggled to raise the family while instilling in Dolly her love of music and folklore.  Raised in the Church of God where her grandfather pastored, Parton first sang in church at age 6 and started playing guitar and writing songs at age 8.

Dolly Parton in 1966

Appearances on local radio and TV programs eventually caught the eye of industry folks, and upon graduation from high school, she moved to Nashville and signed with Combine Publishing.  Several of her earliest compositions (“Put It Off Until Tomorrow” and “Fuel to the Flame”) became Top Ten country hits, and still others were recorded by major country names like Kitty Wells and Hank Williams Jr.

Parton was always reverential about the artists who so influenced her at an early age.  “Kitty Wells was the first and only Queen of Country Music, no matter what they call the rest of us now.  She was a great inspiration to me as well as every other female singer in the country music business.  In addition to being a wonderful asset to country music, she was a wonderful woman.”

When Monument Records signed Dolly as a recording artist at age 20, it was initially as a bubblegum pop singer, but when that didn’t pan out, and her country songs achieved notoriety as covered by others, she was given the chance to record “Hello, I’m Dolly,” her debut as a country singer.  It didn’t take long for Wagoner, an established country star with multiple #1 hits to his credit, to offer her a regular spot on his weekly syndicated TV gig “The Porter Wagoner Show,” which, at its peak, was reaching three million viewers in 100 markets.

Dolly with Porter Wagoner in 1970

As she and Wagoner scored big with a dozen collaboration albums during this period, Parton aimed her ambitions higher, persevering in the face of reluctant record company people to record solo albums and establish a name for herself outside of her association with Wagoner.  To his credit, Wagoner supported her efforts, both financially and as a friend.

Dolly was a firm believer in pursuing your dreams. “Find out who you are and do it on purpose. And do it with purpose,” she was famous for saying. “Don’t ever sacrifice who you are, your principles and your morals and your values, to just try to get ahead in business. It ain’t worth it.”

Her hard work paid off.  Between 1970 and 1990, Dolly Parton racked up a staggering total of 40 Top Ten country singles, including an incredible 22 reaching #1. Her track record on the Country Album charts during that same 20-year span was nearly as impressive, registering 16 Top Ten albums. From 1990 onward, she managed to maintain her album chart residency, putting 11 LPs in the Country Top Ten, but her singles no longer made much of a ripple.

Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly in 1987

Among her many collaborative efforts through the years was a hugely successful project with Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris for an album called “Trio” in 1987, which reached #6 on Pop charts, and sparked an encore, “Trio II,” in 1999. Hearing those three voices harmonizing on tracks like Parton’s “Wildflowers,” Alan O’Bryant’s “Those Memories of You” and especially Neil Young’s “After the Gold Rush” will send shivers up your spine.

In 2000, when asked about the ups and downs of her career, Parton said this: “I’ve been as poor as anyone can be, so I had everything to gain and nothing to lose. So I just kind of work without fear because it’s fun for me. If I fail, it’s no big deal. If something don’t work, I’m not afraid of failure, because to me, I never feel like a loser. Even when I’ve lost, I feel like I’m winning because I’m earning some sort of experience I can use somewhere else. But I have a good attitude. I work hard at being happy. I really enjoy my life. I’m happy because I get to make a living at what I love to do.”

Beginning in the late ’80s, Parton began focusing much of her attention on establishing Dollywood, the amusement theme park in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, and the Dollywood Foundation, which supports and raises millions of dollars to help with educational and health-related charities, particularly in her home state of Tennessee.  “I always thought that if I became successful at what I had started out to do, that I wanted to come back to my part of the country and do something great, something that would bring a lot of jobs into this area,” she said.

Particularly notable has been her literacy awareness program, Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, sparked by her devotion to her father, who couldn’t read nor write.  The program seeks to instill a love for books and a yearn to learn how to read at a young age by donating one book every month to each enrolled child.  The Imagination Library currently counts three million children as registered members, and has donated more than 300 million books throughout the US, Canada, the UK and Australia.

“Everywhere I go these days, the kids call me ‘the book lady,’” Parton said.  “The older I get, the more appreciative I am of the ‘book lady’ title.  It makes me feel more like a legitimate person, not just a singer or an entertainer.  It makes me feel like I’ve done something really worthwhile with my life and with my success.”

Indeed. A woman on social media wrote this week, “My seven-year-old daughter heard me say Dolly Parton died, and she got visibly very sad. I said, “Honey, I didn’t know you knew Dolly Parton.” She said, “Well, I didn’t know her, really, but she sent me books.” Wow. Now, that’s a legacy!

Parton and her husband of 52 years, Carl Dean (who died in 2025), never had children.  “I’ve never been fortunate enough to get pregnant, so I just feel God didn’t mean for me to have kids,” she said.  “So I guess I just look at everybody else’s children as mine, and I reach out to help kids in every way I can.”

In recent years, she conceded that people would tease her a bit about her cosmetic surgery, but in her self-effacing way, she always had a ready response: “I don’t think I’ve ever been a natural beauty, so I try to make the best of everything. It takes a lot of money to look this cheap! If I see something sagging, bagging or dragging, I’ll get it nipped, tucked or sucked!”

Her induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame back in 1999 was a foregone conclusion, but many people were scratching their heads when she was selected in 2022 for induction in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She had occasionally stuck her toe into non-country music waters on startling covers of The Temptations’ “My Girl,” Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right,” The Four Tops “I Can’t Help Myself,” Petula Clark’s “Downtown,” Cat Stevens’ “Peace Train” and Smokey Robinson’s “The Tracks of My Tears,” but even Parton herself felt uncomfortable being lauded by the Rock Hall.

“I didn’t feel like I’d done enough to deserve that,” she said. When the Rock Hall refused her request to rescind the honor, Parton said to herself, “Well, I guess I’m going to have to do a rock album!” She approached a couple dozen rock legends about helping her record some rock classics, and they all enthusiastically jumped at the chance: Elton John, Debbie Harry, Sting, Ann Wilson, John Fogerty, Stevie Nicks, Peter Frampton, Joan Jett, Michael McDonald, Pat Benatar and more can be heard on “Rockstar,” released in 2023 as her final LP, and it reached #3 on the Pop charts, her best showing ever on that listing. Critics called it “monumentally hideous, yet strangely glorious” and wryly described it as “the millennium’s most expensive karaoke party.”

Said McDonald this week: “Few musicians have had their compositions transcend all genre, seen their artistry touch so many hearts worldwide and stayed at the top of their game as a performer for 60-plus years. She was a superstar who somehow managed to live a life of quiet dignity in the midst of it all.”

Sir Paul McCartney, who recorded “Let It Be” with Parton, was moved this week to say, She was so bubbly and full of life. It’s difficult to take in the news that she has passed. Her songwriting, her singing and her philanthropy were unrivaled in the world of country music, and the music world in general. She was a very clever business woman who understood the value of her music and, most importantly, the effect that she had on the people of the world. There was no greater honour for me than to have her sing my song ‘Let It Be.’ Thanks, Dolly. You were the best.

Dolly in 2015

When she was in her 70s, people used to ask Parton, “Why don’t you retire?” Her reply:  “And do what?  What does that even mean?  I always count my blessings more than I count my money.  For me, it’s about the art.  I love the job.  I love to work.”

But her health issues finally caught up with her. She’d struggled years ago with endometriosis, had a hysterectomy in the 1980s and, more recently, had problems with her immune and digestive systems. This month, it was a short bout with cancer that proved to be too much for her.

I’ll leave it to Parton’s longtime friend Reba McEntire to have the last words: “Dolly, thank you for all the wonderful things you did for us here on earth. You gave us your love, your music and so much with your huge, huge heart. There will never ever be another you. We will remember and cherish every memory and every note you ever played and sang. Thank you, Lord, for Dolly. She’s gonna have such a blast in heaven, singing all her favorite songs with her family and friends who have gone on before her.”

R.I.P., Dolly. What a void you’ve left behind.

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The Spotify playlist of 42 songs I’ve assembled reflect my personal preferences from her substantial catalog, arranged chronologically by date of release. If you’ve been a longtime Dolly Parton fan, no doubt you’ll question some of my choices (or, more accurately, the ones I didn’t choose…)

I’d trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday

The popular music world is populated by many musicians who were brought up in musical households with parents who encouraged their interest in artistic expression.

But there are also hundreds of songwriters and musical artists whose parents had other plans for their children and strongly discouraged or even forbade them from pursuing a life in the musical arts.

If Kris Kristofferson‘s parents had had their way, we would have never experienced the pleasure of hearing his wondrous songs or viewing his compelling film performances.

Kristofferson’s father Lars was a major general in the US Air Force, and he wanted his son to follow his footsteps into a lifelong career in the military. For a while, it looked like that might happen when, at age 24, Kristofferson accepted a commission as a lieutenant in the Army and became a helicopter pilot, eventually reaching the rank of captain in 1965. Also a gifted writer, Kristofferson was slated to teach English at West Point, but he declined and instead traded that life to pursue his dream to become a country songwriter in Nashville. His parents were scandalized and disowned him for a while.

“Not many cats I knew bailed out like I did,” Mr. Kristofferson said in a 1970 interview. “When I made the break, I didn’t realize how much I was shocking my folks, because I always thought they knew I was going to be a writer. But I think they thought a writer was a guy in tweeds with a pipe. So I quit and didn’t hear from them for a while. I sure wouldn’t want to go through it again, but it’s part of who I am.”

Kristofferson, who died September 28 at age 88, didn’t experience a seamless transition from military man to songwriter, but he had the innate talent and a lot of perseverance. He had graduated with honors with a degree in literature from Pomona College, and had prizewinning entries in a collegiate short-story contest sponsored by The Atlantic magazine before being awarded a Rhodes scholarship to study English literature at Oxford.

All that formal training didn’t translate at first in the world of country music. His early songs read like classic poetry with perfect grammar, and he had to learn to adapt, using more conversational vocabulary with vernacular terms and real-life experiences. During his time as a janitor at Columbia Records, he absorbed a lot by sneaking into the recording sessions of major artists like Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash. “I had to get better,” Kristofferson said. “I was spending every second I could hanging out and writing and bouncing off the heads of other writers.”

He developed, as a New York Times writer put it, “a keen melodic sensibility and a languid expressiveness that bore little resemblance to the straightforward Hank Williams-derived shuffles he was turning out when he first arrived in Nashville.” He continued evolving over the next few years until he garnered the attention of publishers and artists in town who were impressed with songs like “Sunday Morning Comin’ Down,” perhaps the most poignant hangover song ever written: “Well, I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn’t hurt, /And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert…”

His diligence paid off. Between 1970 and 1972, the name Kristofferson seemed to be everywhere. Singer Ray Price took his ballad “For the Good Times” to #1 on the country charts and #11 on the Top 40 pop charts, and soul legend Al Green made it a staple of his shows after recording his own version. Cash registered a Country #1 with “Sunday Morning Comin’ Down” a couple months later.

Most significantly, his iconic composition “Me and Bobby McGee” (first recorded by Roger Miller in 1969 and Gordon Lightfoot in 1970) became an international #1 hit when Janis Joplin’s recording of it was released posthumously in 1971. Years later, Kristofferson said, “I remember one of my songwriter friends said, ‘You’ve got such a good song going on there. Why do you have to put that philosophy in there?’ He was referring to the line ‘Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.’ It turned out to be one of the most memorable lines I ever wrote. So you’d best take your friends’ advice with a grain of salt.”

Concurrently, Kristofferson’s song “Help Me Make It Through the Night” topped country charts and reached #8 on pop charts with singer Sammi Smith’s delicate rendition, which won a Country Song of the Year Grammy for the songwriter.

Kristofferson’s second LP (1971)

All four of these songs appeared on “Kristofferson,” the songwriter’s own recording debut in 1970, but his gruff, uncultured singing voice wasn’t exactly embraced by critics or the public (one writer described it as “pitch-indifferent”). Kristofferson often knocked his own voice. “I don’t think I’m that good a singer,” he said in a 2016 interview. “I can’t think of a song that I’ve written that I don’t like the way somebody else sings it better.” Indeed, although he released more than 15 albums of his own, five of which charted reasonably well on country and pop charts, he had only one successful single, the country gospel tune “Why Me,” which peaked at #16 in 1973.

It turned out to be a fortuitous time to be a songwriter in Nashville, where Kristofferson found himself huddling with with like-minded writers such as Willie Nelson and Roger Miller. “We took it seriously enough to think that our work was important, to think that what we were creating would mean something in the big picture,” he said in a 2006 interview. “Looking back on it, I feel like it was kind of our Paris in the ’20s — real creative and real exciting, and intense.”

Kyle Young, the CEO of the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, had this to say this past week: “Kris Kristofferson believed to his core that creativity is God-given, and that those who ignore or deflect such a holy gift are doomed to failure and unhappiness. He preached that a life of the mind gives voice to the soul, and then he created a body of work that gave voice not only to his soul but to ours. Kris’s heroes included the prize fighter Muhammad Ali, the great poet William Blake, and the ‘Hillbilly Shakespeare,’ Hank Williams. He lived his life in a way that honored and exemplified the values of each of those men, and he leaves a righteous, courageous and resounding legacy that rings with theirs.”

Author Bill Malone noted in “Country Music, U.S.A.,” the standard history of the genre, “Kristofferson’s lyrics spoke often of loneliness, alienation and pain, but they also celebrated freedom and honest relationships, and in intimate, sensuous language that had been rare to country music.”

I wholeheartedly agree. Consider these lines from his 1974 song “Shandy (The Perfect Disguise)”: “‘Cause nightmares are somebody’s daydreams, /Daydreams are somebody’s lies, /Lies ain’t no harder than telling the truth, /Truth is the perfect disguise…”

He could also be quite provocative, as in these lyrics from the title tune from his 1972 LP: “Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic food, /He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes, /Long hair, beard and sandals, and a funky bunch of friends, I reckon we’d just nail him up if he came down again…”

Coolidge and Kristofferson at home in Malibu in 1974

In 1971, he developed a personal and professional relationship with singer Rita Coolidge, marrying her and recording a handful of albums with her (“Full Moon” in 1973, “Breakaway” in 1974 and “Natural Act” in 1978) that reached the Top 20 on country charts. The couple won two Grammys (Best Country Vocal Performance by a Duo) for “From the Bottle to the Bottom” in 1973 and “Lover Please” in 1975. They would divorce in 1980 but remained friends and occasionally performed together.

Said Coolidge last week, “Kris was a wonderful man and an extraordinary songwriter. He’s been a close friend of mine and the father of my daughter. We had a volatile marriage, but I have nothing but glowing things to say about him today.” In her 2016 autobiography, “Delta Lady,” she bemoaned his drinking, his verbal abuse and his infidelities, but concluded, “Everything we did was larger than life. I never laughed with anybody in my life like I did with Kris. When it was good, I was over-the-moon happy, but when it was sad, it was almost too much to bear.”

Kristofferson’s acting career took off in 1973 when Sam Peckinpaugh cast him as outlaw Billy the Kid in “Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid,” in which Coolidge also appeared. Martin Scorsese concurred that Kristofferson’s rugged good looks and magnetism lent themselves to the big screen, and cast him as the male lead alongside Ellen Burstyn in the critically acclaimed 1974 drama “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.”

When Barbra Streisand was unable to secure Elvis Presley as her co-star in the 1976 remake of “A Star is Born,” her next choice was Kristofferson, who won a Golden Globe for his turn as John Norman Howard, a singer on the downside of his career who ends up killing himself in a drunk-driving incident. Kristofferson, who had described himself as “a functioning alcoholic,” said he was so disturbed by the scene where Streisand’s character tends to his dead body, he quit drinking in real life. “I remember feeling that that could very easily be my wife and kids crying over me,” he said in the 1980s. “I quit drinking over that. I didn’t want to die before my daughter grew up.”

He followed that experience with “Semi-Tough,” the sports comedy film opposite Burt Reynolds and Jill Clayburgh, but his movie career suffered in 1980 when he starred in Michael Cimino’s epic Western, “Heaven’s Gate,” one of the biggest box-office disasters in Hollywood history. Kristofferson fared reasonably well in the reviews, but the movie itself was so mercilessly panned that anyone involved with it found themselves unhirable for years to come. It would be another 15 years before he regained his footing in John Sayles’ Oscar-nominated “Lone Star.”

Kristofferson in “Heaven’s Gate” in 1980

He attracted a new generation of fans for his portrayal of mentor/father figure Abraham Whistler in Marvel’s first successful film, “Blade,” and its two sequels. Indeed, many superhero movie fans of the late 1990s and early 2000s had no idea that Kristofferson had another career as a singer-songwriter, which he found rather amusing. “I was doing a show in Sweden, and somebody backstage mentioned to me, ‘Hey Kris, there are all these kids out there saying, ‘Geez, Whistler sings?'”

When he experienced a dry spell in both acting and songwriting in the early ’80s, he found solace in his friends in the music business. Kristofferson teamed up with Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and Cash to record “Highwayman,” Jimmy Webb’s marvelous song about a soul with four incarnations in different places in time and history. It became a multiplatinum hit that inspired a full album by the foursome, who came to be known as The Highwaymen. They capitalized on the favorable commercial and critical response by recording more albums and touring multiple times over the next decade. Kristofferson later marvelled, “I always looked up to all of those legends, and I felt like I was kind of a kid who had climbed up on Mount Rushmore and stuck his face out there!”

He often talked about how grateful he is to the established songwriters and singers in Nashville who took him under their wing when he was new to town. In comparison, he noted, “Those shows like ‘American Idol’ are kind of scary to me. They wanted me to be on one of those panels one time, and I said it’s the last thing in the world I’d ever want to do. I would hate to have to discourage somebody.”

Cash and Kristofferson on TV in 1977

His legacy as a songwriter is cemented by the number and diversity of artists who have admired his material enough to record it. In addition to Johnny Cash, Janis Joplin, Ray Price, Rita Coolidge, Roger Miller, Gordon Lightfoot, Sammi Smith and Al Green, you can hear strong covers of Kristofferson songs by The Grateful Dead, Frank Sinatra, Willie Nelson, Gladys Knight and The Pips, Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton, Wilson Pickett, Charley Pride, Olivia Newton-John, Ronnie Milsap, Tina Turner, Glen Campbell, Bryan Adams, Joan Baez, Jerry Lee Lewis, Emmylou Harris, Michael Bublé and Thelma Houston.

Streisand said recently, “At a concert in 2019 at London’s Hyde Park, I asked Kris to join me on stage to sing our other ‘A Star Is Born’ duet, ‘Lost Inside Of You.’ He was as charming as ever, and the audience showered him with applause. It was a joy seeing him receive the recognition and love he so richly deserved.”

Kristofferson was married to his third wife, Lisa, for more than 40 years, from 1983 until his death. He had a total of eight children from his three marriages, and seven grandchildren. When asked about his family in 2016, he said, “When I was thirty, and a long time after that, I felt like I had to leave home to do what I had to do. Now, it’s just the opposite.”

Kristofferson in 2017

Bypass surgery in 1999 slowed Kristofferson down, as did an extended bout with Lyme disease in the decade that followed, but he remained active into his 80s. On his final album of new material, 2013’s “Feeling Mortal,” the title song sums up Kristofferson’s feelings near the end of his life: “Here today and gone tomorrow, that’s the way it’s got to be, /God Almighty, here I am, /Am I where I ought to be? /I’ve begun to soon descend like the sun into the sea…”

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